Sometimes, as we seek comfort in others, God allows them to fail because He wants to be that special person in our lives. Knowing such doesn't immediately eliminate struggles of emotional abandonment. We're glad God loves us. We just want another to care besides Him.

Once realized that none loves like God, He becomes appreciated in newfound ways. Then, we're ready to share with others ... "Do you know how special that is? Of all people in world, God choose you to reach down and love." He says, "You are so special to me. Would you let me be your friend?"

My mother was in excruciating pain with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Thus, for years, I sought, searched, warred, and even spiritually crawled through battle after battle, when I could no longer stand ... as I wanted to learn how to heal! When I could no longer crawl, I begged God to hold on to me, to not let me fall. It would have been easy to have given up had there not been a greater love than for myself.

Only, through that, what God taught me was inner healing ... zillions of ways that cleaning inside of cup would cause outside to take care of itself. As a result, my insides were clean!!! And, that is what I share with whomever will receive.

However, stress, hurt, and loss of everything I'd ever loved or placed any faith in, other than God, (often emotional abuse in name of religion, from those who hate whatever they don't understand) finally caused an inner explosion of sorts, a breakdown, and I developed an anxiety disorder that left me without ability to even remember who I'd just sent an e-mail to. All short term memory was gone. I could barely stand when holding on to something, making walking through a room by myself next to impossible.

None-the-less, I was determined that Satan would not stop me from serving God and I began spending 18 hours a day sitting and (mostly) sleeping at computer. Then, when I'd finally give up and lay down, sofa was only a few, hunched over, steps away. The good news is that I got to help hundreds in building their web sites, encourage many to work together instead of against each other, and several individual ministries were developed. God can always turn what Satan is doing into something good!

However, for next 6 months, I used a cheat sheet of sorts ~ just to get out daily e-mails ~ sending apologies for repeats. The next few years, of not moving from computer, wreaked other havoc on my body. Since doctors offered no solutions except more drugs, I began seeing a Chiropractor ~ as when body is in correct alignment, it can gradually heal itself. The process of making a come back had been at a snail's pace ever since. But, every little bit counts.

Though, not even Chiropractor could correct it all. So, when I learned of an area church that believes in healing, I became excited ~ finally, someone who believes God, too! Thus, I requested them to pray over me. Of all things I've ever heard about phony faith healers, none of it was true.

After church service, not a show of any sorts; it was semi-private when they prayed. All they did was touch whatever part of body they were praying for. And, they knew to pray for things I hadn't even requested ... like lymph nodes! All I know about that is, when this seems to be year for cancer in our family, my tests came back negative.

In addition, instantly, my shoulders went into right alignment, something that hadn't happened since sixth grade! And, curvature in my back was gone!