A Chat with Saddam

Written by Ed Howes

He never did say why he chose to call me, but forrepparttar past few months I have enjoyed some rather lively chats with Saddam. He said he has been wanting to speak to America andrepparttar 126009 rest ofrepparttar 126010 world and he should only have to call one of us. He said he could have published his thoughts onrepparttar 126011 Internet, but he prefersrepparttar 126012 give and take of conversation. Our early conversations were personal enough, Saddam did not want them recorded or published, so I agreed to keep that between us. The transcript that follows is from a recent chat we had and Saddam requested I record and publish.

Ed: Hi Saddam, what is happening with you lately?

Saddam: Things are great! It is much less stressful living here inrepparttar 126013 U.S.

Ed: You're kidding me, right?

Saddam: Maybe. Why doesrepparttar 126014 idea surprise you?

Ed: Because U.S. security is so tight these days.

Saddam: Now it's you who are kidding, right? Every day, dozens and sometimes a hundred poor people come intorepparttar 126015 U.S., uninvited. Don't you readrepparttar 126016 papers or watch TV?

Ed: Good point! Aren't you afraid of being seen?

Saddam: No. Overrepparttar 126017 past six months, I've had some excellent plastic surgery. I don't look much like my old self, but I must say I have never looked this good. None of my old friends recognize me. I am living with some old friends now and I really don't need to go out much and tempt fate. If you should see me with my friends, I'mrepparttar 126018 handsome Oriental man. Cute huh?

Ed: Clever, I'd say. Have you been listening torepparttar 126019 news since you've been here?

Saddam: Of course! It's really good for laughs.

Ed: This is true. So you have noticed that every day they talk about your weapons of mass destruction? Why can't they find them?

Saddam: I sent them all to friends beforerepparttar 126020 invasion; friends all overrepparttar 126021 world.

Ed: I was underrepparttar 126022 impression you didn't have too many friends.

Saddam: It's funny about impressions. If you have been followingrepparttar 126023 news, you knowrepparttar 126024 Americans and their friends come under attack nearly every day. There are just a few of my friends behind that. To be honest with you, I have never been so popular inrepparttar 126025 world.

Ed: Is that so?

Saddam: Yes. Most are new friends, sincerepparttar 126026 Iraqi Freedom thing. I think it's about ten million of them but I don't want to boast. Did you ever hear that I am a very rich man? It's true. I can buy anything I want, any time, any where. I can buy friends, weapons, cars, houses, anything. But I don't have to buy friends and many of my friends would give me whatever I asked of them. Is that so hard to believe?

Ed: Not any more.

Saddam: To get back to WMDs. I mostly sent them where they would dorepparttar 126027 most good. Keeping them in Iraq would have been utterly pointless. It wasn't about embarrassingrepparttar 126028 President and his aides or calling intelligence into question, although it has been great fun. It was just a simple strategic military move. Get them close to where I want them.

Chasing Shadows! A Dream

Written by Arthur Zulu

I feelrepparttar earth under my feet shake, andrepparttar 126008 explosions deafen my ears. Day change to night asrepparttar 126009 thick dark smoke obscures visibility for hours. And I begin to see death with my naked eyes. But after allrepparttar 126010 shootings and bombings,repparttar 126011 smoke clears at last. And we expect to see seven dead devils: Hatred, Oppression, Frustration, Injustice, Mistrust, Fear, and Enmity.

But there they are—laughing and falling over themselves. Andrepparttar 126012 kings, Sunrise and Sunset, are full of wonderment. What sight is this? they ask. Did notrepparttar 126013 winged-man in white say to wipe out these devils? Or are these notrepparttar 126014 weapons that destroy spirits? What are they to do now with all their bombs, missiles, and bullets expended?

Whenrepparttar 126015 seven spirits finish their laughters and free falls, Hatred, their leader, comes to addressrepparttar 126016 kings. First, he says thatrepparttar 126017 kings have usedrepparttar 126018 wrong weapons. For neither guns nor bombs can killrepparttar 126019 seven deadly spirits. Second, he tells them that these seven deadly spirits that they are trying to destroy live in their various lands. And they arerepparttar 126020 dangerous parents of Inferno,repparttar 126021 terrorist. So he wonders why they had spent time and money looking for their son, Inferno, while he is right in their midst. He then turns it into a question- and- answer section, and demands that both kings reply him.

"Do you not hate, oppress, and frustrate each other?" he asks. "We do," replyrepparttar 126022 kings. "Do you not cause injustice, and mistrust, and fear each other?" he further asks. "We do,"repparttar 126023 kings answer again. "Are you not in enmity with each other?" isrepparttar 126024 next question by Hatred torepparttar 126025 two kings. And they answer: "We are."

The vexed Hatred, King ofrepparttar 126026 seven deadly spirits, now asks, "Do you knowrepparttar 126027 meaning ofrepparttar 126028 word hypocrisy?" The kings look at each other again in confusion, and I remember my dictionary a second time. As to this question, there is no answer.

The questions and answers now end, and Hatred makes a long speech beginning with a question:

"Why do you then make war at us with your guns and bombs? You should instead have proceeded to eradicaterepparttar 126029 political, economic, social, religious, health, and environmental problems that are bedevilingrepparttar 126030 world. People are fighting for political freedom, some are sick and hungry, and there is racial and class discrimination, religious strife, including land, sea, and air pollution in your lands.

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