A Chat with Osama

Written by Ed Howes

After speaking with Saddam, I was not especially surprised to hear from Osama. He did not care to speak with me offrepparttar record and wanted me to record and publish our conversation. He said he could no longer imagine talking to any American in a position of authority. He said he had been trying to do that for more than twenty years andrepparttar 126010 response was always; who are you that we should listen? He felt he had satisfactorily answeredrepparttar 126011 question of who he was and noted that it produced no meaningful dialogue.

Osama: I am calling you to speak torepparttar 126012 people ofrepparttar 126013 world. Video and audio tapes have not worked very well. Do you have any questions for me?

Ed: Oh yes! Probably many you don't want to answer.

Osama: Try me.

Ed: Why do you attack innocent people?

Osama: We do not attack innocent people. We attack ignorant people who make it their business to support distorted government policies- policies that create humiliation and suffering in far away places. We attackrepparttar 126014 irresponsible people who serverepparttar 126015 policy makers and fraudulent financiers.

Ed: Is that why you attackedrepparttar 126016 World Trade Center?

Osama: Exactly. Not only were they symbolic of overwhelming economic power, we needed to send a message torepparttar 126017 hidden government of money and debt, that their days are numbered. They can hide fromrepparttar 126018 entire world and quietly control everything, but we can bring them down, even if we don't know their names, and we do.

Ed: Then your partially successful attack on Washington D.C. was symbolic ofrepparttar 126019 military power that servesrepparttar 126020 money power?

Osama. Very good. The idea was to cut offrepparttar 126021 head ofrepparttar 126022 dragon, and thenrepparttar 126023 limbs, in sequence. We had three Washington targets and only two attack ships, but timing demanded we strike when we did.

Ed: You have made it clear that if at first you don't completely succeed, you try again. I'm assuming that you will try to finish your targets in Washington.

Osama: I'm glad I called you. Since 1993, we have been trying to tellrepparttar 126024 people ofrepparttar 126025 world that we will not fail in our mission, no matter how long it takes. We have been very patient and knowrepparttar 126026 value of patience. Atrepparttar 126027 same time, we give warning to all who live and work in and near our targets. That is another reason why we are not attacking innocent people. We are attacking targets where people choose to be, in spite of our warnings. They bet we won't succeed and then they loserepparttar 126028 bet, again and again. The World Trade Center should have stood empty since '93. Everyone there bet onrepparttar 126029 U.S. Government and against us. They are doingrepparttar 126030 very same today in Washington, because Americans refuse to learn from their mistakes and believe they are helpless to change, especiallyrepparttar 126031 leaders.

Ed: I cannot argue with that. As I understand it, Al Qaeda and associates are well trained inrepparttar 126032 use of weapons of mass destruction. Why haven't you used them?

Osama: For many reasons. First, it is not our desire to destroy allrepparttar 126033 people of America but to awaken them to a reality in global politics, they, like their leaders, choose to ignore. Between attacks we leave space for dialogue. When none develops, we move on torepparttar 126034 next step.

Next, there are more than a few logistical problems in movingrepparttar 126035 weapons to locations close to where they will be used. Saddam has been very helpful in this matter. Operation Iraqi Freedom has created great new opportunities for us. We owerepparttar 126036 U.S. a debt for this assistance.

Ed: You mean Saddam's money and cooperation?

Osama: That and more. The things Saddam wanted as head-of-state became very easy to acquire as Saddam-at-large, with pockets full of money. Since this stateless condition is new to him, he quickly teamed up with various stateless movements, with goals similar to his own.

Ed: Such as Al Qaeda and Palestinian fighters?

Osama: Very much like those. You recall his support forrepparttar 126037 families ofrepparttar 126038 Palestinian suicide bombers. Saddam set up a trust account that will continue that support, long after he is gone. When living in Palestine is more profitable than dying,repparttar 126039 bombings will cease. I don't see that happening any time soon.

Ed: I don't think anyone does. You saidrepparttar 126040 Iraqi invasion has been good for you in many ways. Such as?

Osama: Our recruitment has more than doubled our numbers. It is perfectly clear torepparttar 126041 average Arab and Islamic believer that Iraq is onlyrepparttar 126042 beginning of a grand imperial design forrepparttar 126043 region. To set up a Westernizing propaganda center and spread out. President Bush calls it spreading Democracy, but it is a thinly veiled attempt to westernizerepparttar 126044 Arab world and Islam, which will never, ever, happen.

A Chat with Saddam

Written by Ed Howes

He never did say why he chose to call me, but forrepparttar past few months I have enjoyed some rather lively chats with Saddam. He said he has been wanting to speak to America andrepparttar 126009 rest ofrepparttar 126010 world and he should only have to call one of us. He said he could have published his thoughts onrepparttar 126011 Internet, but he prefersrepparttar 126012 give and take of conversation. Our early conversations were personal enough, Saddam did not want them recorded or published, so I agreed to keep that between us. The transcript that follows is from a recent chat we had and Saddam requested I record and publish.

Ed: Hi Saddam, what is happening with you lately?

Saddam: Things are great! It is much less stressful living here inrepparttar 126013 U.S.

Ed: You're kidding me, right?

Saddam: Maybe. Why doesrepparttar 126014 idea surprise you?

Ed: Because U.S. security is so tight these days.

Saddam: Now it's you who are kidding, right? Every day, dozens and sometimes a hundred poor people come intorepparttar 126015 U.S., uninvited. Don't you readrepparttar 126016 papers or watch TV?

Ed: Good point! Aren't you afraid of being seen?

Saddam: No. Overrepparttar 126017 past six months, I've had some excellent plastic surgery. I don't look much like my old self, but I must say I have never looked this good. None of my old friends recognize me. I am living with some old friends now and I really don't need to go out much and tempt fate. If you should see me with my friends, I'mrepparttar 126018 handsome Oriental man. Cute huh?

Ed: Clever, I'd say. Have you been listening torepparttar 126019 news since you've been here?

Saddam: Of course! It's really good for laughs.

Ed: This is true. So you have noticed that every day they talk about your weapons of mass destruction? Why can't they find them?

Saddam: I sent them all to friends beforerepparttar 126020 invasion; friends all overrepparttar 126021 world.

Ed: I was underrepparttar 126022 impression you didn't have too many friends.

Saddam: It's funny about impressions. If you have been followingrepparttar 126023 news, you knowrepparttar 126024 Americans and their friends come under attack nearly every day. There are just a few of my friends behind that. To be honest with you, I have never been so popular inrepparttar 126025 world.

Ed: Is that so?

Saddam: Yes. Most are new friends, sincerepparttar 126026 Iraqi Freedom thing. I think it's about ten million of them but I don't want to boast. Did you ever hear that I am a very rich man? It's true. I can buy anything I want, any time, any where. I can buy friends, weapons, cars, houses, anything. But I don't have to buy friends and many of my friends would give me whatever I asked of them. Is that so hard to believe?

Ed: Not any more.

Saddam: To get back to WMDs. I mostly sent them where they would dorepparttar 126027 most good. Keeping them in Iraq would have been utterly pointless. It wasn't about embarrassingrepparttar 126028 President and his aides or calling intelligence into question, although it has been great fun. It was just a simple strategic military move. Get them close to where I want them.

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