A Bird's Eye View of THE ENCHANTED SELF and what it means to YOU!

Written by Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein

The Rebbe Nachman of Breslow often said, “Always remember-Joy is not merely incidental to your spiritual quest. It is vital.” Asrepparttar years have gone by and I’ve been inrepparttar 126097 practice of psychology over 20 years, I have become more and more convinced that he was so right, that joy is not an option. When we take away joy and we take away a sense of well-being, a sense that we are thriving, we allow ourselves or seem to find ourselves in circumstances that seem to drain, tire and weaken us. We are no longerrepparttar 126098 whole human being that is our birthright! THE ENCHANTED SELF is a positive psychology approach to mental health that works both inrepparttar 126099 treatment room and out. I teach peoplerepparttar 126100 techniques they need to start to think in positive ways about themselves and their world. Thus I teach them how to see what is right about themselves, rather than what is wrong. I also teach them to appreciate their own life story, its ups and downs;repparttar 126101 roller coaster ride that we all go on. I teach how to value our potential even if in childhood we were put down or criticized, as so many of us are. I haverepparttar 126102 belief and I teachrepparttar 126103 belief that inside of each of us we know when we are on track and we know when we are living a wholesome life that fits withrepparttar 126104 integrity of our particular spirit. I call this sense of well-being ”The Enchanted Self” and I teach people how to find their "Enchanted Selves" again and again-how to recognize and celebraterepparttar 126105 states of well-being that signify they are in touch withrepparttar 126106 best of themselves. I stressrepparttar 126107 positive benefit of recalling memories about one's life in a fashion that permits us to discover and rediscover our own talents and resources. I also emphasize how to find in our pastrepparttar 126108 kernals of pleasure, and reservoirs of strength, that we can come home to again and again, even if we need to reshape these facets of ourselves to suite new circumstances Basically, this learning involves listening to yourself, and reviewing your own past to see what worked for you, what really gave you pleasure. What aspects of yourself and your life can you identify as necessary to experience a state of well-being?. What do you need to feel whole? For example, if you loved to playrepparttar 126109 piano as a child, then you may not really enjoy watching football games as an adult. You may much more enjoy listening to classical music. However, in order to live a full life, you may also enjoy football games because your son loves them or your husband loves them. Thus there is also an accommodation to someone you care about and a resulting interest develops. I think you can begin to see that what is going to work for each person is so unique to that individual! It involves a review of our history, and it involves analyzingrepparttar 126110 circumstances currently in our lives. If we have a handicap we may not be able to become a ballerina. Even if we have severe arthritis, we may not be able to become a ballerina at forty. However,repparttar 126111 love of dance since childhood may easily be converted into wonderful yoga stretches that help arthritis and feel 'dancy'. So often, there is a creative turn inrepparttar 126112 road, thinking out ofrepparttar 126113 box, thatrepparttar 126114 Enchanted Self person develops. You find you have become an ENCHANTED SELF when you havethe courage to put together using your mind, heart, body and spirit new inventive ways of bringing pleasure and meaning into your life. The steps I teach people are rigorous but they are no harder then allrepparttar 126115 habits we learn that keep us in bad moods and keep us depressed. For example, if I teach someone how to review atrepparttar 126116 end ofrepparttar 126117 day everything that has gone right in their day, that it is no harder than listing what went wrong. In fact it soon becomes easier than listing everything that went wrong. The reason it becomes easier is that you don’t build up some ofrepparttar 126118 rage and some ofrepparttar 126119 anger that one can build up when we reviewrepparttar 126120 problems in our lives. Now we are encouraged rather than discouraged and even may end up sleeping better and feeling better leading to much less energy drain. I have foundrepparttar 126121 most effective way to teach people how to access their Enchanted Self, i.e. to find and hold onto feelings of joy, and a sense of well-being is to sharerepparttar 126122 Seven Gateways To Enchantment. It is a quick way to catch your Enchanted Self. So let’s explorerepparttar 126123 Gateways and then try an enchanted assignment! The first Gateway is The Gateway of Knowing Yourself In Positive Ways. That means getting to know your own talents and rediscovering your lost potential. This is a fun gateway and it really builds your self-esteem. You can pursue this Gateway, even while driving you car! For example, you can go over your life history, reviewing your strengths and talents. Start back in childhood-look for your strengths and talents, even if they were disregarded by your family, and maybe even yourself. Now, you haverepparttar 126124 maturity and wisdom to recognize these positive parts of yourself. Even play with looking for your lost dreams-what you thought you could do before someone or circumstances may have dashed those dreams! After you take some time withrepparttar 126125 First Gateway, you are ready forrepparttar 126126 Second Gateway. This isrepparttar 126127 one where you begin to fall in love with yourself! Atrepparttar 126128 heart level you begin to feel your specialness. This may take time, not to worry. After all our society does not bring us up to recognize what is special and wonderful about ourselves! Some of us get closer to this sense of positive self-love by mentally hugging ourselves asrepparttar 126129 child that we once were. Others practice by intentionally giving oneself a for real quick hug, even if no one else does, or looking inrepparttar 126130 mirror and saying to oneself, "I am special and my strengths are unique and perfectly suited for what I want and need to do in life! Another step in successfully passing throughrepparttar 126131 Second Gateway is acknowledging thatrepparttar 126132 story of your life is a fascinating fabric of adventures, episodes, happenings, and even mis-haps that have come together to make a most unique person and that is YOU! Once you can begin to see that your triumphs are to be honored and celebrated and that your defeats have within themrepparttar 126133 wisdom andrepparttar 126134 learning that takes you later in life to new heights you are well along onrepparttar 126135 road to Enchantment.

The Depressive Narcissist

Written by Sam Vaknin

Many scholars consider pathological narcissism to be a form of depressive illness. This isrepparttar position ofrepparttar 126096 authoritative magazine "Psychology Today". The life ofrepparttar 126097 typical narcissist is, indeed, punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria (ubiquitous sadness and hopelessness), anhedonia (loss ofrepparttar 126098 ability to feel pleasure), and clinical forms of depression (cyclothymic, dysthymic, or other). This picture is further obfuscated byrepparttar 126099 frequent presence of mood disorders, such as Bipolar I (co-morbidity).

Whilerepparttar 126100 distinction between reactive (exogenous) and endogenous depression is obsolete, it is still useful inrepparttar 126101 context of narcissism. Narcissists react with depression not only to life crises but to fluctuations in Narcissistic Supply.

The narcissist's personality is disorganised and precariously balanced. He regulates his sense of self-worth by consuming Narcissistic Supply from others. Any threat torepparttar 126102 uninterrupted flow of said supply compromises his psychological integrity and his ability to function. It is perceived byrepparttar 126103 narcissist as life threatening.

I. Loss Induced Dysphoria

This isrepparttar 126104 narcissist's depressive reaction torepparttar 126105 loss of one or more Sources of Narcissistic Supply – or torepparttar 126106 disintegration of a Pathological Narcissistic Space (PN Space, his stalking or hunting grounds,repparttar 126107 social unit whose members lavish him with attention).

II. Deficiency Induced Dysphoria

Deep and acute depression which followsrepparttar 126108 aforementioned losses of Supply Sources or a PN Space. Having mourned these losses,repparttar 126109 narcissist now grieves their inevitable outcome –repparttar 126110 absence or deficiency of Narcissistic Supply. Paradoxically, this dysphoria energisesrepparttar 126111 narcissist and moves him to find new Sources of Supply to replenish his dilapidated stock (thus initiating a Narcissistic Cycle).

III. Self-Worth Dysregulation Dysphoria

The narcissist reacts with depression to criticism or disagreement, especially from a trusted and long-term Source of Narcissistic Supply. He fearsrepparttar 126112 imminent loss ofrepparttar 126113 source andrepparttar 126114 damage to his own, fragile, mental balance. The narcissist also resents his vulnerability and his extreme dependence on feedback from others. This type of depressive reaction is, therefore, a mutation of self-directed aggression.

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