Written by Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.


“Fashionably late” is no longer in fashion. In today’s heavily scheduled world, it isrepparttar punctual who are respected and admired. Even though most of us know this, some people are always late, no matter how much time they have to get ready. You may be one of them. Do any ofrepparttar 126155 following sound familiar?

** You're always rushing atrepparttar 126156 last minute, even though you've promised yourself countless times that you wouldn't let this happen again.

** You've tried setting your watch several minutes ahead, but you're still late.

** You may be punctual for work (barely) but you're usually at least 20 minutes late for meetings, appointments, class, church, theater or other non-work situations.

** You make excuses, such as: "There was traffic," or "Something came up," or "I was going to call you but I didn't want to be even more late."

** People become impatient or angry at your tardiness.

** You believe that you are more motivated when in a time crunch, or that you move faster under pressure.

If you can identify with 2 or more ofrepparttar 126157 above, you have a problem with punctuality. Chronic lateness is not a psychiatric diagnosis. Nor is it a genetic condition, even though some people treat it as such. They say things like:

"That's justrepparttar 126158 way I am. I don't like it, but it seems that I am incapable of being on time."

"My mother was always late; I'm always late, and so are my kids."

"I don't mean to be late. It just turns out that way."

Chronic lateness is related to procrastination. Latecomers and procrastinators have trouble NOT with time, but with self-discipline. They may also have underlying anxiety aboutrepparttar 126159 task they're faced with.

If you have problems with being punctual, especially for things that are a bit threatening, such as doctor's appointments, new social situations, or meeting with people you don't like, then your lateness is anxiety-based. Putting offrepparttar 126160 inevitable is how your mind tries to cope with anxiety.

But if you are habitually late for routine business and for events that don't cause you much discomfort, thenrepparttar 126161 problem is mainly with self-discipline and your “inner brat,”repparttar 126162 part of you that balks at exerting itself, and at being told what to do.

Here's an example of how your inner brat sabotages your efforts. Suppose that, in order to be at work by 8:00 a.m., you must leave home by 7:30. So you setrepparttar 126163 alarm for 6:30 -- no, let's make it 6:15 just to be safe.

Self improvement: Turn Down the Rheostat

Written by Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, Emotional Intelligence Coach

I woke up one morning with a terrible sore throat that got worse asrepparttar day went on, instead of better, as I had hoped. Byrepparttar 126154 time I realized it was a true case of laryngitis, and all I could do was croak, it was too late to cancelrepparttar 126155 Cub Scouts who were due at my house right after school. I wondered how I would manage when I could only whisper, and then I discoveredrepparttar 126156 miracle. Those squirming, busy, full-of-energy exuberant 8-year-olds hung on every word I said when it was whispered.

Instead of havingrepparttar 126157 usual management problems I did when I raised my voice with commands or laments, things went very smoothly. My voice must’ve sounded very soothing to them. Also they had to quiet down in order to hear me. After all, they didn’t want to miss their brownies and milk!

It was a real lesson to me that my loud voice and strident tones wererepparttar 126158 cause of more friction than I was aware of.

I also noticed at work when I had a cold and my ears were stopped up that I had a better disposition. The loud and strident tones of others weren’t affecting merepparttar 126159 way they usually did. The buzzing and clanking of machines,repparttar 126160 shouts of others,repparttar 126161 ringing phones all were muffled and seemed far away. I didn’t notice every little thing that went on and it was easier to concentrate. Not that I’d want stopped-up ears allrepparttar 126162 time, but what a gift upon occasion. It made for a much quieter world, and this affected my disposition.

If you’re highly sensitive and experience internal as well as external stress, or if you’re experiencing a lot of external stress, you need to slow it down and, as they say, “stoprepparttar 126163 madness”.

Put up a Plexiglas shield between you andrepparttar 126164 stimuli fromrepparttar 126165 outer world. Don’t hear as much, and don’t talk as loudly yourself. In fact cut down onrepparttar 126166 amount of talking you do, as well. Calm things down and you’ll calm yourself down. Managerepparttar 126167 external stimulation that’s coming your way, and you’ll feel less stressed.

I was reminded of this when reading an email from someone on one ofrepparttar 126168 lists I belong to. She was talking about how her perfectionism got inrepparttar 126169 way of her housecleaning, and that when she started getting that way, she took off her eye glasses to do her cleaning and then everything was fine.

It’s sometimes a relief to hear and see less, yes? And you can also apply this to forgiveness, and what you remember. I have a friend who’s well into her 80’s whose memory is a bit less than it used to be, she tells me. She tells me, “I’m a much nicer person now than I used to be. I no longer remember every single thing someone tells me, every slight, every negative comment. I’m much more forgiving.” I think she has a point.

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