“Fashionably late” is no longer in fashion. In today’s heavily scheduled world, it is punctual who are respected and admired. Even though most of us know this, some people are always late, no matter how much time they have to get ready. You may be one of them. Do any of following sound familiar?

** You're always rushing at last minute, even though you've promised yourself countless times that you wouldn't let this happen again.

** You've tried setting your watch several minutes ahead, but you're still late.

** You may be punctual for work (barely) but you're usually at least 20 minutes late for meetings, appointments, class, church, theater or other non-work situations.

** You make excuses, such as: "There was traffic," or "Something came up," or "I was going to call you but I didn't want to be even more late."

** People become impatient or angry at your tardiness.

** You believe that you are more motivated when in a time crunch, or that you move faster under pressure.

If you can identify with 2 or more of above, you have a problem with punctuality. Chronic lateness is not a psychiatric diagnosis. Nor is it a genetic condition, even though some people treat it as such. They say things like:

"That's just way I am. I don't like it, but it seems that I am incapable of being on time."

"My mother was always late; I'm always late, and so are my kids."

"I don't mean to be late. It just turns out that way."

Chronic lateness is related to procrastination. Latecomers and procrastinators have trouble NOT with time, but with self-discipline. They may also have underlying anxiety about task they're faced with.

If you have problems with being punctual, especially for things that are a bit threatening, such as doctor's appointments, new social situations, or meeting with people you don't like, then your lateness is anxiety-based. Putting off inevitable is how your mind tries to cope with anxiety.

But if you are habitually late for routine business and for events that don't cause you much discomfort, then problem is mainly with self-discipline and your “inner brat,” part of you that balks at exerting itself, and at being told what to do.

Instead of having usual management problems I did when I raised my voice with commands or laments, things went very smoothly. My voice must’ve sounded very soothing to them. Also they had to quiet down in order to hear me. After all, they didn’t want to miss their brownies and milk!

It was a real lesson to me that my loud voice and strident tones were cause of more friction than I was aware of.

I also noticed at work when I had a cold and my ears were stopped up that I had a better disposition. The loud and strident tones of others weren’t affecting me way they usually did. The buzzing and clanking of machines, shouts of others, ringing phones all were muffled and seemed far away. I didn’t notice every little thing that went on and it was easier to concentrate. Not that I’d want stopped-up ears all time, but what a gift upon occasion. It made for a much quieter world, and this affected my disposition.

If you’re highly sensitive and experience internal as well as external stress, or if you’re experiencing a lot of external stress, you need to slow it down and, as they say, “stop madness”.

Put up a Plexiglas shield between you and stimuli from outer world. Don’t hear as much, and don’t talk as loudly yourself. In fact cut down on amount of talking you do, as well. Calm things down and you’ll calm yourself down. Manage external stimulation that’s coming your way, and you’ll feel less stressed.

I was reminded of this when reading an email from someone on one of lists I belong to. She was talking about how her perfectionism got in way of her housecleaning, and that when she started getting that way, she took off her eye glasses to do her cleaning and then everything was fine.