AN ALL-TOO-COMMON ADDICTIONWritten by Terry L. Sumerlin
It was a beautiful spring morning in LaJolla, California . I had flown to San Diego evening before. After a pleasant breakfast, cab driver had taken me five miles to LaJolla. In an hour and a half he was to pick me up for trip to San Diego airport, where I would catch a shuttle for two-hour trip down to Ensanada, Mexico. From there I would board Dawn Princess to Hawaii.As I strolled through LaJolla, I was completely charmed by its gorgeous Pacific setting and its quaint shops. I sat in one of shops and sipped coffee, while reading a book and looking at ocean. As it got closer to time for Ebbie, cab driver, to pick me up, I started walking back to LaJolla Cove, where we were to meet. Passing through Ellen Browning Scripps Park, I noticed joggers, walkers, lovers and sightseers. I walked up to a rail and joined sightseers and stood speechless while gazing at grandeur of breakers against rocky shoreline. A hundred yards or so below was a middle-aged couple sitting on a rock. It appeared they, too, were enjoying sights, as well as each other’s company. Suddenly, I couldn’t believe my eyes! “You’ve got to be kidding,” I thought. “That lady is actually talking on a cell phone.” In one of most beautiful and romantic places in world, while apparently with her husband, she was on her cell phone. If I had been her husband, I would have been sorely tempted to push her into water. As I turned to walk to spot where Ebbie would be waiting, I spotted a bag lady who was walking around in park talking to herself. I couldn’t help thinking she had more sense than lady on cell phone. What is it with people and cell phones? I admit to being biased on subject. After all, I’ve not only had to stop cutting hair so customers could answer trivial calls; I’ve also had someone who was seated on front row talk on his phone during one of my speeches. So, I have some rather strong feelings about rude people and their phones. I understand that devices serve a vital purpose when used wisely. What I don’t understand is why they have become as important to average person as an oxygen bottle to a respiratory patient.
| | What to Do When You’re WorriedWritten by Susan Dunn, MA, Personal Life & EQ Coach
Worrying? Who doesn’t these days? There’s such a great choice of things to worry about – terrorism, economy, rising cost of health insurance – and then there’s our more personal list – difficult teenager, an aging parent who’s not doing well, threat of being downsized, difficult in finding good employment. What we choose to worry about says a lot about us, but concept of worrying seems to be an accepted part of life. I’m reminded of my first days interning at a battered women’s shelter when I was getting my degree in psychology. “You won’t find a lot of neurotic worrying down here,” supervisor told me. “This is about putting food on table.” What is “neurotic” worrying? Well, it’s kind of like getting in groove of worrying and shifting levels and particulars. Worrying about things you’re conflicted about. Fantasizing and inventing things to worry about. It’s an oversimplification, but “real” worry is when your car’s stuck on railroad track and a train is barreling toward you. “Manufactured” worrying is worrying that you’ll NEVER find a partner because you’re over 30 or worrying that you’ll NEVER find a job. Sometimes we just get in habit of worrying. For instance you might wake up in morning and start mental search for what you’re supposed to be worrying about that day. Even having had a great dream can trigger this. “I had this wonderful dream about my mother,” someone told me, “and woke up so happy, but it didn’t last long. I immediately switched over to worrying about how unhappy she is now and what to do about it.” Well, it’s one thing if you’re worrying about something crucial – in case of being unemployed, for instance, but quite another if you’re just in habit of worrying and you don’t feel good if you aren’t, or actually go after it as a part of your mental and emotional life. This can be changed and is part of your emotional intelligence development. Worry is part mental and part emotional. You start emotion of worry because of what you’re thinking about or, especially sad, you’re in a worry mindset and start a computer scan to find things to worry about. It’s quite logical that if you’re determined to worry, you can find something to worry about, but we aren’t always rational about such things.
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