Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person's life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living "out of
habit" of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.Eventually, you begin to think about dating, but it is suggested that you take your time. Use this precious opportunity to rediscover yourself. Think of this time in your life as an adventure to explore real you. If you have worked outside home combined with being a mom and wife for last ten, fifteen or twenty years, you may have lost yourself along way. Certainly not on purpose, but as most women try to do it all as "super" moms, many times we put our own wants and needs on hold to keep our families and jobs running smoothly!
Take a deep breath and let's start to rediscover our true passions and say... Will Real Me Please Stand Up!
1) Treasure Your Gifts Within
Realizing we are all born as "gold nuggets" is a hard concept for many women to believe about themselves. Think about how magnificent you really are! Over time, you might have forgotten your unique gifts and are only thinking of what you don't like about yourself or your life. Set a new intention, starting today, to list all of your great qualities and read that list everyday. Keep reading it until you believe it. Examples: beautiful smile, kindness, generosity, loving, caring, intelligent. keep going. Your list is endless, when you start focusing on your great qualities. Allow yourself to see shining gold within. It's already there!
2) Give Yourself A Break
During and after a divorce it is common to have feeling of grieving, similar to that of loss of someone. Many women feel need to stay busy to keep their minds off of this stressful time, such as working overtime or cleaning house from top to bottom, but let this time also include pampering yourself. For example, barter with a friend or neighbor to watch your children or leave work early to give yourself this needed time. Yes, you do deserve to do something special for yourself. It can be as simple as taking a bath or a walk, going to mall or reading a book with your favorite cup of tea. Give yourself permission - it's O.K. Remember, happier you are, happier your family will be!
3) No regrets! No bitterness!
Holding onto regrets and bitterness will only keep your life from moving forward. Is your inner voice working overtime with all "what if's" and "if only's"? This is normal for a period of time, but ask yourself... are these thoughts serving me or helping me feel better? Will thinking about them over and over again change anything? To move your life forward, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and to learn from your past experiences to prepare yourself for next exciting chapter of your life. Yes, there is life after divorce. Learn to let it go! Just, let it go! A quote from Buddy Hackett, "I never hold a grudge because while I am being angry, other person is out dancing."
4) Enjoy Little Things
Life after divorce usually means added responsibilities. If you are a single parent or are now one responsible for once shared to-do list, how do you handle it all without being totally stressed out? To start, learn to laugh more, especially at yourself. Learn to let things go and not take life so seriously. Lighten-up! Learn to live in present moment. Living in present is where all "good stuff" in life happens. Yesterday is gone forever and tomorrow's worries are tomorrow. Think of it this way, when one is missing this moment in time, one is missing out on one's life.
So how do we live in present? If you are feeling stressed, immediately leave your thoughts in your head and take off your blinders. (Blinders similar to what a horse would wear, not allowing it to see from side to side). Start to look around you. I mean really look around you. Look closely at everything. Really focus. Use all your senses! For example, if you are with your children observe them. Cherish their smiles. Give them a hug. See true beauty of who they are and appreciate them for being a part of your life. You will start to feel your stress subside and a feeling of peace sweep over you. To be present, no matter where you are, use all your senses to pull you back into moment. Take time to appreciate all beauty that already exists around you. You only have to be present to see it!
5) What Makes Your Heart Sing?
What really matters to you? What do you feel is your true purpose in life? If someone asked you that question, how would you answer them?
Why is it so important to be clear on what your life's purpose is? Knowing your purpose, will give you a true sense of who you are and why you were put on this earth. It gives your life direction and helps you make clear and easy decisions concerning that direction. It's your compass! Without a purpose, can your life be compared to a piece of driftwood? Floating endlessly in whichever direction tide decides to take it and ending up on any beach with no will of its' own. When you live your life based on your purpose you are living in integrity with yourself and are in alignment of who you really are in all aspects of your life - body, mind and spirit. Take this time to focus on what really matters to you. Feel true passions that exist in your heart and write them down.
