Take your time getting to know someone before you have your first meeting. Taking time getting to know someone, first through emails then on
phone, can give you a true feel for how they really are. It also gives you a chance to listen for signs that this person is not being honest with you. Pay attention! Do they stick with same story or does it seem to change a lot? Is there something they seem apprehensive to talk about it? If so, try to find out why. On positive side, taking time to get to know them also gives you a chance to build foundation of a strong relationship, so don’t skip over this important step!
Don’t give out personal information that can be traced to your home or your work.
The last thing you want is to have someone that you don’t end up feeling comfortable with coming to your door at home or at work. That can only spell trouble. (Can you say “stalker”?) This is information that should be a privilege given only after you have met at least once, if not more. A cell phone or pager can always be used to be for contact, other than e-mail, with someone. These are harder to trace back to home. Just be sure that if you are returning a call, and want number to stay anonymous, that you have your home number blocked. Check with your phone company to see how to do this.
Make sure you are meeting at a familiar location.
Go where you know! You need to be somewhere that you feel safe and you know area. That gives you more control. I even made sure a friend or family member was there to keep an eye on me at first. It made me feel as if there was a guardian angel watching over me.
Take your own car, or transportation.
First of all, in spirit of not letting someone know where you live right away, you obviously don’t want to let them come pick you up at home (no matter how old fashioned you might be). This is something that can come at a later date when you are sure you want them to see your home. When you take your own car, you have more control of when you leave and where you go. If you don’t like someone or somehow don’t feel comfortable, you can leave!
