6 Dating Tips from Ughh the Caveman

Written by Richard Stooker

While recently browsing throughrepparttar Akashic Records ofrepparttar 118294 Universe, I discovered thatrepparttar 118295 greatest relationship advice counselor to have ever incarnated on Earth was Ughh, a caveman born in 123,566 B.C.

My local Rent-A-Psychic outlet provided a channeler and now thanks to her unique talent, I am bringing you Ughh's eternal dating wisdom and answers to your dating and relationship questions.

1. Question:

I've been dating my current girlfriend for 23 years. She's 45 and I'm 48. She tells me she needs her own space and has taken time off and on to find herself. Lately I've realized I'd like to get married and have children but she is still telling me she is not yet ready for committment and needs to get her head together before settling down.

What should I do?


When a woman takes meat from you, spreads her legs but returns torepparttar 118296 skins of her mother and father, she is telling you that eitherrepparttar 118297 meat you fed her orrepparttar 118298 meat between your legs did not fill her up. Let another hunter feed her cubs.

Find a girl who is a good cook and has a fast hand for catching grasshoppers. Feedrepparttar 118299 hot heart of an antelope to her mother and father andrepparttar 118300 liver to her. Then, if she tries to crawl back underrepparttar 118301 bearskin of her mother and father, they will kick her until she returns to you.

After you have fed her five antelope livers orrepparttar 118302 winds ofrepparttar 118303 Gods have planted a cub in her womb, she will remain yours untilrepparttar 118304 walls of ice torepparttar 118305 north melt.

2. Question

I am 35 years old and have not had a second date since college. The women tell me I'm too nice of a guy for them and they just want to be friends.

What should I do?


You must be a lazy hunter. Whenrepparttar 118306 women see you sleeping inrepparttar 118307 sun every day living on grass instead of bringing back strings of rabbits and squirrels, they curse your manhood and rightly so.

If you want a woman you must prove you can feed her and her cubs.

If your cave has no available females, capture one from another tribe.

If your heart is too small and your bowels too loose for that, resign yourself to sleeping cold until you die.

3. Question

I'm a girl who loves to go to raves. I used to go home only with guys, but lately I've been bi-curious with other girls and I'm getting confused. Am I a lesbian or is it justrepparttar 118308 Ecstasy?


Life is short. Many women die young in childbirth. Many men die young in hunting accidents or war parties. Everybody can die young from starvation, winter cold and disease.

When a woman's husband is gored by a wild pig and she has three cubs andrepparttar 118309 other hunters inrepparttar 118310 cave already have as many wives and cubs as they can feed, it can be good for that woman to share her skins with a hunting woman or he-girl.

Lighten Up At Work

Written by Virginia Reeves

This article focuses on ideas to having more fun at work by employing a more light-hearted approach. I hope these ideas, obtained from several sources, will spark you to share as well. Wouldn't it be great to smile more while putting in all those hours onrepparttar job? Have fun, giggle, and make life easier for yourself andrepparttar 118293 people you spend a lot of time with.

Laughter works because it increases blood circulation, feeds oxygen torepparttar 118294 brain, pumps out hormones that aid alertness, and releases pain-killing endorphins. These effects can improve mental skills such as decision making, negotiating, data organization, and word association. Tell me how any boss could argue with those benefits.


Years ago I listened to a speaker, Jim Pelley of Laughter Works, who proposed that companies consider having a CEO of HOHO (Creative Employee Organizer who Helps Others Handle Obstacles). The concept is great. I jotted down these points on how to incorporate more humor intorepparttar 118295 work place. * use props such as humorous posters onrepparttar 118296 employee bulletin board or in your work space * decorate a plant with a red rubber nose, scarf, silly glasses, magic wand, etc. * create a humorous sick leave, bathroom or vacation policy to parody those typical boring office policy manuals * keep a cartoon or joke book nearrepparttar 118297 telephone to relax and laugh while you are on hold (not only will you feel better, you'll probably carry over that smile and boost uprepparttar 118298 spirits of whoever answersrepparttar 118299 phone thereby lightening up their day too) * give out monthly awards forrepparttar 118300 most creative use of telephone time, late-to-work excuses, expense account rationalization, etc. * sing out your complaints (use whatever form of music fits you or pick something that isn't you to really make a point) * take a quick laughter break every two hours (you should walk away from anything you're doing periodically anyway so why not make it fun?!) * when you are having a "train-wreck-of-the-mind" or a "mental meltdown" it's even more critical to step away in order to keep things in perspective and restore your positive outlook. * Jim's a fun speaker - check his website at http://www.laughterworks.com


One ofrepparttar 118301 reasons we respond to people with a sense of humor is that humor implies control and command of a situation. If there is a crisis, an emergency, a time of challenge - and a leader can joke inrepparttar 118302 face of it - it implies that a solution has been found,repparttar 118303 right path to follow has been determined. Humor isrepparttar 118304 ultimate expression of being cool, calm, and collected. A great example is during 1944,repparttar 118305 German army hadrepparttar 118306 101st Airborne Division surrounded and trapped at Gastogner. Whenrepparttar 118307 German commander presented an ultimatum to surrender to General McAuliffe, he gave a one word answer: "Nuts!" It brought a smile to Allied faces throughoutrepparttar 118308 world and a new resolve torepparttar 118309 men ofrepparttar 118310 101st to break out ofrepparttar 118311 ring and move on to win - and they did.


As I've stated in other articles, I keep material gathered from all sorts of places. This came from a workbook somewhere. I hope you enjoy it and consider posting it.

The New "Throw Your Weight Around" Diet If you're worried about not getting allrepparttar 118312 exercise you need because you're not jogging, swimming, or playing tennis, worry no more. A study released byrepparttar 118313 U.S. Foreign Service Medical Bulletin shows that managers do indeed burn up calories despiterepparttar 118314 sedentary nature of their jobs. The following chart tells how, along withrepparttar 118315 number of calories burned per hour. * beating aroundrepparttar 118316 bush 75 * jumping to conclusions 100 * climbingrepparttar 118317 walls 150 * swallowing your pride 50 * passingrepparttar 118318 buck 25 * throwing your weight around (depending on your weight) 50 to 300 * dragging your heels 100 * pushing your luck 250 * making mountains out of molehills 500 * adding fuel torepparttar 118319 fire 150 * wading through paperwork 300 * bending over backwards 75 * jumping onrepparttar 118320 bandwagon 200 * running around in circles 350 * eating crow 225 * climbingrepparttar 118321 ladder of success 750 * pulling out allrepparttar 118322 stops 75 * wrapping it up at day's end 12

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