50 Things to do to your Boss that are Fun for you, but not for them

Written by Dawnell Harrison

1. You’re eavesdropping and you hear your boss has reservations at his favorite restaurant. You know,repparttar one you can’t afford. Call them back and cancel his reservations – say you’re his wife.

2. Have a friend of yours make an anonymous call to your boss saying that they know what he has been up to, possess incriminating pictures, and hang up. It will scarerepparttar 118254 bejesus out of him.

3. Put chocolate ex-lax in your manager’s chocolate licorice. Not only will you feel better, it may wipe that constipated look off of his face too.

4. Callrepparttar 118255 local Mormon or Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints church and ask that they visit your house soon, only give them your manager’s home address.

5. Every time your boss asks you a question, just look at him and say “interesting” and go back to what you were working on.

6. Take your eyeliner and smears it in his chair when he’s not looking. His wife will feel needed when she has to heartily scrub and wash his pants.

7. Turnrepparttar 118256 pictures on his desk upside down and act overly sweet and innocent when he asks if you know why they are like that.

8. When your boss goes torepparttar 118257 bathroom, turn his computer off. When he asks you if you know what happened, say that you don’t and it must have just crashed or something. Smile likerepparttar 118258 Cheshire cat.

9. Enlist a friend to deliver papers appearing to be legal documents that insinuate he is being sued for 4 million dollars. Put word “joke” onrepparttar 118259 last page ofrepparttar 118260 20-page document. It will be fun to watch beads of sweat form on his brow.

10. Remove all toilet paper fromrepparttar 118261 men’s bathroom and put it inrepparttar 118262 women’s. Shake your head in disapproval ofrepparttar 118263 janitorial help in your office when your boss complains about it.

11. Put your boss on all ofrepparttar 118264 mailing lists of his most detested organizations and clubs. When he asks you to call and have them remove him fromrepparttar 118265 lists, say of course, and never do it.

12. Replacerepparttar 118266 vodka inrepparttar 118267 liquor cabinet with water. You’re doing him a favor, really you are. When he comments that his vodka tastes like water, respond smartly by saying that it appears that just about everyone is cutting corners these days.

13. When he comments thatrepparttar 118268 coffee is too weak or too strong, ask, in a serious tone, if he is sure that his taste buds haven’t changed.

14. When your boss mentions a particular food that he does not like, purchase that item repeatedly and eat it in front of him. Put your garbage from that food into his garbage can, so thatrepparttar 118269 smell will linger in his office.

15. When you arrive late, move all clocks back. When you want to leave early, move all clocks forward. Pretend that allrepparttar 118270 batteries need to be replaced.

16. When your boss inquires about your weekend, say you went sky diving and to Italy. He will hopefully get your sarcasm and not ask again.

17. When your manager inquires as to what your favorite TV show is, reply that it is a child’s show like Sesame Street. Say it like you mean it.

18. Out ofrepparttar 118271 blue, say you have an emergency appointment with your astrologer and it is important that you leave now because your charts are waiting!

19. For your manager’s birthday, hire a palm reader to read your manager’s palm. Pay them an extra $50 to say “Oh My” inrepparttar 118272 middle ofrepparttar 118273 reading and not be able to continue.

20. Grind up leaves from your backyard that look like pot, put into a baggie, and send it to your boss. Stand there while he opens it and gasp whenrepparttar 118274 contents are revealed. Say “it is none of my business” and walk out ofrepparttar 118275 room.

21. Callrepparttar 118276 fire department and pretend you are inrepparttar 118277 office next door to yours and exclaim there is a massive inferno inrepparttar 118278 building next to yours. It is guaranteed to raise your manager’s blood pressure a few points or more whenrepparttar 118279 firemen arrive.

22. Time your manager when he goes out to run personal errands and comment that he took an exceptionally long break when he returns.

23. Run intorepparttar 118280 office exclaiming to your manager that his car has a huge dent inrepparttar 118281 side! Walk outside with him when he goes out to examine it. After he looks it over thoroughly and asks you what you saw because he can’t see it, apologize that it must have just beenrepparttar 118282 wayrepparttar 118283 light was reflecting on it that made it appear that way.

24. Exclaim how sorry you are that your manager’s grandmother died overrepparttar 118284 weekend and that you read about it inrepparttar 118285 obituaries. Declare that it must have been somebody withrepparttar 118286 same name when he says he has no idea what you are talking about and begins frantically dialing his grandmother.

25. Superglue two middle pages of your manager’s favorite book and return torepparttar 118287 shelf. He will find it afterrepparttar 118288 glue has permanently set.

26. When you are simply not inrepparttar 118289 mood to get out of your chair, proclaim thatrepparttar 118290 copier is broken when your boss asks for copies to be made. If your manager attempts to make copies on his own and exclaims it works just fine, jam a paper clip inrepparttar 118291 innards ofrepparttar 118292 copy machine when nobody is looking.

Fuzzy Names, Sweet Names

Written by Dawnell Harrison

As with everything, names go through cycles of change with passing generations. I also tend to think that names have improved immensely sincerepparttar first Elmas, Minervas, Bufords, and Alfreds gracedrepparttar 118253 baby’s room wearing appropriate nametags on their cribs.

A country of tradition, we still hold tightly to such commoners as Becky, Wendy, Mike and Bill. And beingrepparttar 118254 trendsetters of a diverse time, we also like originality. Girls are acquiring sophistication with names such as Breanna and Kyla while boys are being called Dusty and Cameron, cute yet charming. I do like these names. I even think thatrepparttar 118255 not-so-unique ones are fine. These names have humility and, most importantly, can be spoken without cringing, gagging, or regurgitating. When wasrepparttar 118256 last time you could actually say “Bunny” and controlrepparttar 118257 ruffling of your nose andrepparttar 118258 higher level of intonation in your voice? (Not to mention avoidingrepparttar 118259 picture of this girl nibbling on a very orange carrot.) I put her into a category I like to callrepparttar 118260 ‘itty bitty Bunny and Kitty committee.’

A girl of this stature serves your ex-boyfriend mixed drinks atrepparttar 118261 local dive bar and leavesrepparttar 118262 tip onrepparttar 118263 table because somebody accidentally left it there. She likes to think deeply when scuba diving and yells, “run to second base,” when a tight end getsrepparttar 118264 football. This type always has straight, white teeth and never gets fired from her cocktail jobs. She’s such an asset. I have my doubts aboutrepparttar 118265 advantages being endless though….I mean, how many lawyers, nurses, or even receptionists do you know named “Kitty?”

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