Most professionals don’t because they’re afraid. Afraid they’ll hurt their client relationships. Afraid they won’t cultivate any new business. Or afraid they’ll appear cheap or salesy.

It’s an imagined psychological line in sand you’re afraid of crossing with people. It’s in a concept I teach called "D.V.”, or Damage Verge. You’re frightened that by bringing up word “referrals” you’ll push your clients, cross that line, and create damage.

Let me give you an example.

Of 5,200 investment and insurance professionals surveyed earlier this year by my firm Strategic Impact!, an overwhelming 79 percent said they rely on referrals as their primary source of new business. Eighty-three percent of those professionals had at least 100 clients. Yet median number of referrals they received from their clients over a 12-month period was just 6 to 12! That means that, on average, only about 10% of their clients were generating referrals. That’s horrible! And being passive causes it.

If clients are your best source of new business then figure indicates a tremendous problem. The question is why? My answer is Damage Verge: A psychological barrier where you imagine worst possible thing will happen if you ask a client for a referral.

Before you can even think about how to bring subject up, your brain kicks into warp speed and says, "I can't ask them for a referral; they might get mad at me. . . feel upset. . . be uncomfortable. . . [insert your excuse here]. . . or worst yet, they'll just say, 'No!'"

What I'm referring to is nothing more than your conscious mind gets into act, and you wrongly start envisioning that worst-case scenario coming to life. You see yourself offending someone, being presumptuous, asking wrong way, feeling embarrassed, and finally ruining a prized relationship.

Four ways to break through

Yet I know that many people struggle to find right deals... and are especially challenged with getting their offers considered and accepted by their potential partners. An estimated 98% of JV offers get turned down.

Why?

...Because they are impersonal. Being impersonal is one of best ways to shoot yourself in foot. Always use your prospects name a few times (including once in headline / opening sentence or in subject line if it’s an e-mail.) Writing their name a few times will give a more personal feel to it. Friends call each other by name often, strangers don’t.

...Because they are not clear enough. Your prospects are most likely very busy. They don’t want to rack their brains trying to figure out what you really want. If you don’t clearly state benefits that person will receive by partnering with you – they may not (and will not) figure it out themselves. Be specific and compelling.

...Because people choose an ineffective way to contact their potential partners. If you want to be successful, you have to think outside box. How do most people get contacted? That’s right, by e-mail. Some big-name experts can literally get a few hundred JV proposals per week. And I guarantee you that vast majority of those are e-mail.

If you want to stand out like a sore thumb and virtually assure that your proposal will be read, send it by Fed Ex or UPS. This can be expensive, so only do it if you believe you have good chances of being successful.

...Because people don’t take time to get to know their prospects. If you want to maximize your chances of getting your proposals accepted, befriend your potential partner before making your offer. It takes longer but is worth it.

Get to know them, their business, their needs and wants and by all means, if you can help them, do so. Give and expect nothing in return. Very often they will want to do something in return. This is called reciprocity and it’s extremely powerful.