The fees associated with RAL’s are expensive. For example, let’s say IRS owes you a refund of $2,000. In order to get a RAL you pay following: RAL loan fee = $75, Electronic filing fee = $40, tax preparer’s fee = $100. Total fees associated with your RAL = $215 which is more than 10 percent of your estimated refund. The APR on your refund loan equals a whopping 142 percent!

Many low and moderate income workers are without bank accounts and wind up paying an additional fee to set up a one-time-use account so that their IRS refund can be direct deposited.

Before giving in to temptations of refund anticipation loans, ask yourself if you really need your money that quickly. If you can wait just a bit longer for your refund you’ll line your own pockets with extra cash rather than forking it over to a RAL lender.

A great way to save money at tax time is to go to a Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) site. VITA sites provide free tax preparation to low and moderate income taxpayers and are sponsored by IRS. They can be found in libraries, community centers and other locations during tax season. To find a VITA site call IRS general help line at 1-800-TAX-1040 or visit www.tax-coalition.org.

It was at this point that I began to develop a strong spiritual connection, and Spirit eventually guided me toward a self-healing process which we now call Inner Bonding. (For a free Inner Bonding course, see www.innerbonding.com). It was through practicing six steps of this powerful process that I was able to start taking care of myself while I was working and taking care of my family, and my health gradually returned.

I had always had enormous compassion for others but generally lacked compassion for myself. My challenge was to turn my eyes inward to my own feelings and needs instead of always being tuned in just to others’ feelings and needs. I needed to learn to treat myself as well as I treated others. I needed to learn to stand up for myself when my family demanded that I take care of them to detriment of myself. I needed to learn to have courage to withstand their anger when I didn’t do just what they wanted me to do. I needed to learn to stand in my truth regarding what was loving to myself and others instead of trying to control their love with my compliance. It’s been a long and sometimes painful road, but one with great rewards.

In a session with Renee, one of my clients, she told me that she was struggling with this same issue. She was exhausted most of time, and often felt depressed. She told me of a recent incident that had happened with her nine-year old daughter, Sarah. Renee had told Sarah that she wanted to watch a particular TV program at 8:00 that night, so Renee wanted to make sure that Sarah didn’t need anything from her after 8:00. When 8:00 came around after Renee had been spending time with Sarah, Renee said she was going to watch her TV program. Sarah said, “Mom, so TV program is more important than I am.” Renee got confused by this, bought into guilt, and gave into Sarah, thereby enabling Sarah’s already strong entitlement issues. Then Renee felt even more exhausted and depressed.

What Renee needed to say to Sarah was, “Honey, it is you who is being selfish in not caring about what is important to me and just wanting me to do what you want. I need you to care about me like I care about you.” Then she needed to watch her program, thus taking care of herself and at same time role-modeling personal responsibility rather than enabling Sarah’s entitlement issue by giving herself up.

Learning to take care of ourselves is essential for our own health and health of our family.