"Alcohol drug abuse, stress, and mental illness cause domestic violence"

     This is not true, but is commonly used as an excuse from abusers who try to pardon their actions, and unfortunately their victims buy into this. Alcohol use, drug use, and stress do not cause domestic violence; they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not cause violence itself.

"Domestic Violence is a personal problem between a husband and wife"

     Domestic violence goes way beyond just two immediate people involved. Look into a child's face that sees this violence everyday. Then go visit that child about 10 to 15 years later and see what they have become. If they are male, they will most likely become domestic abusers themselves. If they are female they will most likely become domestic victims themselves. Why? Learned behavior; this was their environment growing up, and to them, this is just acceptable behavior that people do. It takes a very strong person to come out of that type of environment and not have it become part of their adult lives. A child who lives with domestic violence will never forget it.

"If it were that bad, she would just leave."

     Leaving a domestic violence situation is not so easy. Many times children are involved and victim may not have any financial means of supporting themselves. Not only that, but they may fear that they will be killed if they leave. As strange as it may sound, some have a real psychological bond with their abuser, and just won't leave. I have had many instances were we arrested an abuser and next morning his victim is begging us to release him and recanting her story. This is one of reasons why law has changed in many states. Now it is state not victim, who prosecutes domestic abuser.

"I can change him."

     This thought is worst. For anyone who thinks this, read following carefully NO YOU CAN'T! I have heard this so many times, all from victims who are beaten time and time again. Domestic violence is way too complex for any one person to handle, or fix. You have to either escape it, or have some sort of professional intervention. I would highly recommend escaping it. I have yet to see anyone who has stated this, ever change their abuser.