Validate Feelings and Beliefs. Your new ways of doing things may feel like a threat to your parents. Without intending to, your way may seem like a personal attack against way you were raised. Feeling offended, your mother may try to influence you either to retaliate or to create a comfort level. It is important to share with your mom that, as an adult, you have taken all that she has taught you to create new ways of doing things with your family. You have needed to compromise and synthesize everyone’s ways to create a new way that works for all. Recognize that you and your mother have a right to your own opinions, even if they are different from each other.

Get a Guide There is such a stigma in asking for help, especially for woman. However, a third-party perspective can make all difference in how you communicate with your parents. This does not mean therapy or counseling. Find a Coach, a guide or even clergy who specializes in relationship issues. Be sure your Coach helps you both to focus on your goals for relationship. In other words, what do you want your future with your Mom to be like? Do you really need to hash out and analyze past or are you ready to learn skills to move forward? Also, make sure your Coach can offer immediate tools to use to help you diffuse potentially contentious situations. Ask Questions. “Why do you ask?” “How does that make you feel when I do that?” “Why would you do it that way?” What is your mother’s real intent when she does something that gets under your skin? If asked, she would probably be shocked that she hurt your feelings. Her intent was to help, not hurt. What is behind that seemingly critical statement or probing question? You may be surprised to find that she has her own agenda that is separate from what seemed like a criticism. Before you react, ask genuinely interested questions. This also takes focus off of you and onto her.

As my mother offered my son lollipop, I choked down my frustration and sincerely asked her why she gave him candy. Her answer caught me off guard. She expressed how hard it was for her that she lives so far away, that she could not help raise him and that she feared he would forget her from visit to visit. She explained that in her limited time with him, she wanted to bring pure joy and excitement and make him feel special. As I listened to this, I recognized that to my mother, all of that was represented in a lollipop. And what kind of mother was I to deny my son all those wonderful feelings? I also recognized that I could be true to my way of doing things and still love and respect my mother.

© 2004, XY Outlook, Inc.

When you transition, point where two textures meet is known as "line of demarcation". This is weakest point. The curly/coily hair meets relaxed or straight hair. At this point structure of hair is completely different due to two different textures. This is point where hair is susceptible to breakage.

While transitioning, if you are conditioning your hair, comb hair carefully with wide tooth comb while conditioner is still in hair. Leave conditioner in hair for 10 minutes and then rinse out. A great after wash and conditioner is Infusium Leave-In Conditioner. Add to hair after washing and conditioning with creamy conditioner. Infusium Leave-In Conditioner is a great product to use after every wash because it rids hair of tangles.

Try to consult with a professional stylist to help you through your transitioning period. A visit to stylist for a professional deep conditioning will also be very beneficial and helpful during transition period. It’s best to go to a stylist that embraces natural hair. The last thing you need is a stylist who makes you feel like you’ve lost your mind because you’ve decided to go natural route. You need to surround yourself with people who support your decision. It’s amazing how many stylists frown upon natural hair.

Your stylist will also be able to recommend best products and methods to use for your hair. Another key point to having good hair (whether transitioning or not), is a healthy diet. So, get healthy! Try to eat right so that your hair will grow quickly and grow thick and healthy. Green leafy vegetables like spinach and broccoli are great at growing long healthy locks.

Transitioning Tip: Try to avoid slicking your hair back because tension may cause breakage. Your hair is more susceptible to breakage because of two different textures.