I then asked her to pinpoint elements that exist when she feels strong, energized and at top of her game.

She replied: - Regular exercise - Adequate sleep - Stretching - Writing in her journal - Time alone

These are things that make her feel balanced and grounded. She now knew what was missing during her business trips and could take specific action steps to remedy situation. Now she packs her workout clothes so she can exercise on road, brings her journal, and stretches on plane and throughout each day on her trips. She also sets boundaries with her colleague by (politely) letting him know she cannot work into wee hours of morning. She now returns from her trips with more energy and a greater internal capacity to transition back into her everyday life with a positive mindset. What are essential elements of your personal success formula? Create a list and use it to write your own success memo. This week, schedule a small block of time in your calendar to get started. Once you’ve completed your memo keep it close by as a guide to operating at your personal best. Here’s to your success!

Creating a safe enough environment for intimacy to flourish means that each person needs to take 100% responsibility for creating safety within themselves as well as safety within relationship. We do this by practicing acceptance and compassion for ourselves, which will then naturally extend to others.

However, moment we are triggered into fear - fear of rejection, of domination, of abandonment, of losing ourselves or losing other - we often do anything but behave in a way that creates inner and relationship safety. We abandon ourselves and become reactive - getting angry, complying, withdrawing, resisting, blaming, defending, explaining, attacking, and so on. None of these behaviors create inner safety, nor do they contribute to relationship safety.

How do we learn to stay connected, open-hearted and non-reactive in face of fear and conflict? The key is to practice staying connected with a source of spiritual guidance (whatever that is for you) during peaceful times, so that when fear and conflicts arise, you have that source available to you. None of us can stay open by ourselves. David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., in his book entitled simply "I", states that "The strength of ego is such that it can be overcome only by spiritual power." When our ego - our wounded self - is activated by fear and conflict, we must be able to turn to a source of spiritual power for strength to not react with our learned defenses.

The more we practice staying connected with our spiritual guidance, more we create inner and relationship safety. The safer we feel within ourselves and with our partner, freer we feel to share our joy and pain with each other, which is what leads to connection and intimacy. Meditation and prayer are powerful ways of practicing our spiritual connection, as is six step Inner Bonding process that I teach.(see our free course at www.innerbonding.com). Without a daily practice of strengthening your spiritual connection, you may find it very difficult to maintain intimacy in face of many conflicts that occur in committed relationships.