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The Golf Warehouse: I golf. My wife doesn't. Not a good idea if for some reason I ever decide to have another child. Although, it would give me an opportunity to try out all golf innuendo jokes wasted on my golfing buddies. "Honey, check out my new wood with stiff shaft." Or, how about, "Just make a smooth stroke."
NFL Shop: Unfortunately, thought of me in a Patriots game jersey - and nothing else - sickens even me.
Human Sex Pheromone: The subject line for this email was, "Don't Be Alone for Valentine's Day," which seems to be a very popular theme for Internet. And with this Human Sex Pheromone, I can drive my wife wild! After 13 years of marriage, I'm not worried about driving my wife wild. I'm worried about pissing her off. And, with my luck, they'd substitute human sex hormone for Sasquatch sex hormone.
Which brings me to . . .
Valentines day sale: V,iagra-Diet-more: "Make this years valentines day special," is text in email (the punctuation mistakes are theirs, not mine). According to these fine folks, for Valentine's Day I can "lose weight, quit smoking, and enhance sex." Further, they offer "Great prices on V/i/a/g/r/a," as well as "Pain medications Skin Herpes- Hair" (again, their spelling and punctuation). Now we're talking!
I guess I'm going to have to go back to drawing board in search for perfect Valentine's Day gift. And you know what? My wife is worth it. She puts up with me on a daily basis, and has even gone through pains of childbirth twice. So I guess I'll have to expand my Valentine search beyond confines of my email inbox.
I guess I'll have to search Internet now. Do you think my wife would like one of those Mini-RC racecars or Perfect Pasta Pot?
================================================================== About the Author:
Chuck Smith is the brain from which Chuck Smith's Brain Sediment falls. Chuck has led a sheltered life in high tech, and is not often let out of his wife's sight. Visit his site to subscribe to the twice monthly Chuck Smith's Brain Sediment ezine. http://www.brainsediment.com mailto:email@example.com