Also, have and utilize a party log. In other words, write down your exact party plans, guest list, menu, etc. in a notebook. Write down what went very well and what didn't. Which guest did not interact very well with others, etc. This will give you valuable insight into future parties. Also this allows you to invite guests that are compatible so that no one is uncomfortable. Also you avoid duplicating menu plans, decorations, etc. When day of party arrives, stay calm. Use your schedule and cross out all items as they get done. Have everything ready (except for hot-from-the-oven items) in place and do a once-over about an hour before guests begin to arrive. Then dress-up, relax and make sure you enjoy party as much as you would like your guests to. Nothing is more tense at an event, then a host/hostess that is jittery, upset, and obviously stressed out. Visit and personally greet each and every arrival and look after extra details that mean so much to your guests. Extra towels, napkins, temperature adjustments for too warm or too cold, name cards on table (double-faced for comfortable conversations), and easily handled food. If accidents occur, such as spilled beverages or dropped food, discreetly do immediate clean-up, but save real clean-up for after guests leave. This will save embarrassment and frustration on perpetrator. Your reputation will soar as a successful host/hostess with just a few of these tips. ENJOY! ©Arleen M. Kaptur 2002 August

OK, maybe not rest of day. Maybe just until lunch time. This is second example I promised you. For some children, act of trying to get place to sit while eating lunch can be very difficult as well. Try to imagine having to walk into a room and find a place to sit when you are not a confident child. It's easy if when you walk into room and others start yelling your name but that doesn't happen very often for average child, let alone quite child that may not have many friends.

Based on my own experience, these are very real, uncomfortable situations for some children that should not be minimized.

What can you do for your child? How to help your child with that first day anxiety? I'll tell you. Here are some proven ideas. Talk to your child about these scenarios. Make sure your child knows he or she is not alone when it comes to understanding how difficult these situations are. Try to instill a sense of control which will ease sense of anxiety. It won't get rid of problem, but a sense of control empowers people including children.

Give your child real control over situation by sharing a few concrete suggestions to use that he/she is comfortable with. Suggestions that your child feels they contributed. Make sure your child has much of say and is comfortable with solutions that will be used.

The first day may be exciting for some. Remember, it may not be so exciting for others. Instead it can be a head filled with anxiety based on lack of control.

Lets wish for best for all our children.