And don’t confuse personal feelings with private affairs. Topics having to do with money, conception and child-rearing, politics, or in-laws should not be included in wedding vows to be overheard by your guests.

Incorporating traditional pledges

Although much of what you will write will be unique to your relationship and therefore highly personalized, you may want to include meaning parts from traditional vows that are a part of your culture.

While most of wording is their own, many couples continue to incorporate familiar love, comfort, honor (though usually leaving out "obey" part) wording into their vows.

Rehearse before your wedding day

Since this is a special occasion, you should give it all of time and attention it deserves. Practice reading aloud what two of you have written. This is true test that what appears on paper is what you really intended to say, in way you intended to say it. Rehearsing will also allow you to determine how long exchanging your vows will take and whether adjustments are needed. If wording sounds awkward or if it is difficult to read, change it.

Don’t rely solely on your memory

A case of nerves can strike unexpectedly, and at most inopportune time, so make sure your precious words are written down. Once you are satisfied that your wedding vows express exactly what you wanted to say to each other, it is time to finalize your draft. The final copy, preferably two or three, should be printed using a fairly large font size, which will make it easier to read.

It is a good idea to give a copy to clergyman, at least several days before ceremony is to take place. If a severe case of nerves does strike, it may be he who will need to read your vows.

Personalize whole ceremony

Aim to keep time it takes to exchange your vows between one and three minutes. To extent feeling of a ceremony that is a celebration of your unique love, have a family member or good friend offer a carefully selected prayer or reading as part of ceremony. You can also choose music that is both appropriate for occasion and especially meaningful to two of you.

Jean Bachcroft is a former public relations director, founder of Bachcroft and Aloha Labels, and the publisher and editor-in-chief of Town and Country Shopping Bargains Magazine. For designer wedding, holiday, and year-round mailing and return address labels, you can visit her web sites at http://bachcroft.com and http://alohalabels.com.

For shopping bargains from around the world, visit http://townandcountryshoppingbargains.com

And Jenny makes three Children of bride and/or groom are often a part of second marriages. If either of you has children, invite them to participate in ceremony.

Teens make nice junior ushers and junior bridesmaids. Very young daughters can, of course, be flower girls, and little boys, ring bearers or pages. Conversely, if ceremony is to be small or ages of children would make them unsuitable for these roles, you might simply ask them to accompany you down isle, or meet you at altar.

Children do not always welcome opportunity to participate in wedding ceremonies. If you children seem unwilling to play a role in ceremony, you should respect their feelings. Incidentally, if you share custody with your ex-husband, let him know about plans to include your children in ceremony.

Inviting your ex-husband and former in-laws

If you and your former in-laws are still on good terms, you may want to invite them. However, you are under no obligation to do so. Consider this as nothing more than a formality since they would not be expected to accept.

Rarely would an ex-spouse be invited to ceremony, even if two of you have remained friends. Think about it. Inviting your ex-spouse to ceremony leaves him with only two choices, neither of which would be welcomed: accepting and feeling bad or declining and looking bad.

A more sensible and considerate approach would be to invite him to a private dinner, perhaps at your home, after ceremony and honeymoon.

© Copyright 2005 Bachcroft.com. Permission to reprint this article, as is, is granted as long as proper attribution (author's biography) is given and all active hyperlinks remain intact.