Continued from page 1
The emotions you want to evoke in each character will determine what breaks you want and where you want them.
“Well,” she said, glancing at
door, “I just don’t know right now. Can you come back tomorrow?”
“No.” The firmness of his hands on her shoulders pulled her gaze back to his eyes. “I need an answer now, and I’m not leaving until I get one.”
Or this:
“Well, I just don’t know right now.” Grabbing up clothes basket she pushed out door into sunshine with a shove. “Can you come back tomorrow?”
He followed her hurried steps through garden to clothesline. “No, I need an answer now.” His gaze narrowed as he stepped in front of her. “And I’m not leaving until I get one.”
Both dialogue sections give reader more information than simple words. In first, her glance at door could mean that she is wishing she could run away or that she is hoping someone will come in that door and save her at last minute. But his hands on her shoulders give impression that they know each other, and he wants to keep her from running.
The second example “feels” very different. In that section, she is running, but he doesn’t seem to know her all that well. In fact, he seems to be more of an adversary in some business deal. Same quotes as first but a very different “feel.”
On readable level, position of breaks lends support to “feeling” author is trying to convey. In first example, information break after “Well,” lends an additional pause to word, which is needed to point out her reluctance to say next line. The break reinforces timing element of her dialogue.
This leads us directly into question of actual quotes used in dialogue. The third form of communication is speaking. When rereading your dialogue after you have gotten it on paper, it is important to understand difference between speaking and talking. Speaking is more formal—like a minister giving a sermon or a lecturer giving a speech.
Very often these “speeches” are actually written out before they are delivered, thus causing difference between speaking and less formal form of communication—talking. We have all heard speakers that were a torture to listen to, and conversely we have heard speakers who we could listen to for hours without any knowledge that time was actually passing. These speakers have learned to “marry” art of speaking with more natural communication form of talking.
In writing, however, novice writers will often transfer speaking form into written form and call it done. Then they wonder why their dialogue sounds stilted. The reason is that speaking by its very nature is stilted. It is formal and meant to be so. Therefore, it is not speaking that we, as authors, are aiming at—it is a blend of speaking and talking.
Talking is fourth form of communication that an author must understand. In learning how to convey realistic talking in dialogue, best advice is to become an active listener. Listen to how people talk. Listen to inflection, to tone, to pitch. Listen to what they are saying beyond words they use, but listen to words as well.
The first thing you will notice is that very seldom is real conversation spoken in full sentences or even half-sentences. More often it is conveyed in phrases, bits and pieces of sentences strung together and interspersed with bits and pieces of sentences from someone else. This comprises talking. Talking is much less formal than speaking and far different from writing, and thus, makes finding dialogue sweet spot a true challenge for many authors.
Often if a writer were to transcribe an actual conversation, it would be one, long series of “umm’s,” “well’s,” and “uh’s” punctuated by a few intelligible words in semi-intelligible order. However, simply transcribing a speech and calling it dialogue will feel stilted and unrealistic.
Therefore, skilled writer must aim to have right amount of talking, mixed with right amount of speaking, in a written form that can be read while endeavoring to make every information break provide precise pause necessary to improve timing of dialogue in addition to conveying desired information.
This is far easier said than done. In fact, only best writers ever find that sweet spot, but knowing four components will make dialogue writing process much less frustrating and outcome much more realistic and enjoyable for reader as well as for writer.
It is a standard worth shooting for in everything you write.
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