A rigorous credentialing program for Emotional Intelligence will be directed by someone with an advanced degree in human sciences, ideally Clinical Psychology, and taught by equally qualified individuals.

It must cover theory, affective neuroscience (where emotions come from – brain science), learning theories, a whole new terminology, assessments, ethics and best practices. It must also be academic and empirically based. In Emotional Intelligence, we don’t ‘guess’ at what makes someone resilient. We can go to research in field which is based on more than assumptions and guesses.

The coach must also learn how to make concepts come alive; to be able to show client what they look like in real life, and to be able to make use of naturally occurring moments that take place in coaching sessions. Perhaps nowhere is a field of coaching more a living lab than when one is teaching Emotional Intelligence. Nor can you fake your own ability at it. If you are rigid, how can you teach competency of flexibility. How you are being will shout louder than anything you are trying to say.

Emotional Intelligence is a set of life skills meant to be applied to life. The client develops competencies and then applies then in real life to their career, marriage, parenting, transitions, losses and setbacks, procrastination, integrity, life balance and so forth.

Few things can benefit you more than developing your Emotional Intelligence. Work with a certified EQ coach. You deserve best.

The key ingredient is your openness to explore whatever creative ideas are necessary to help your child move through grief process and not become stagnate in any one phase. In helping children cope with loss of someone they love keep following in mind:

 Be honest and direct and truthful in explaining what happened. Creating stories to “protect” feelings may make grief process more difficult in long run.

 Allow and encourage children to express their feelings openly. Let them know that crying is normal, helpful and acceptable. Don’t put time limits on this process. Each child is unique and will move along at a pace most comfortable to him.

Don’t compare or contrast one child from another and categorize strength or weaknesses. Help them know you accept their feelings, support positive choices and will guide them through negative experiences along way.

 Accept individual emotions and reactions and don’t tell child what he or she should or should not feel.

 Listen to what child is saying then focus on responding to child’s needs. Avoid putting words in their mouth or thoughts in their head. Become a good listener.

 Be a strong foundation, maintaining as much stability in child’s life as you can.

 Encourage child to be part of some of decisions family will make during death planning process. Take time to explain process and procedures and always ask them how they feel. Don’t band them from discussions.

Be patient, recognizing that children may need to hear what happened again and again and will ask same questions over and over. Not unlike learning curve in school, repetition is helpful to reinforcing meaning of an end of life process.

Grieving is an individual wilderness experience that is not exclusive to adults. Shock, anger, denial, guilt and behavior changes are human responses. Children need adults to help them connect to their resources, maintain a positive attitude, and walk in faith believing that they will heal and get through it. Knowing that someone cares will help make their “wilderness” journey easier to bear. You will both be victorious if you take a step back from your own pain and remember that children grieve too.

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