Why Most People Don't Really Want to Heal (Part 2)

Written by Kevin B. Burk


Continued from page 1

Within reason, we're able to complain to others about how we feel, or put on a brave face, enduringrepparttar pain (but also making certain that everyone knows that we're a martyr to our pain and we don't want to ruin everyone else's good time). Either way, our illness is making usrepparttar 113715 center of attention, and this makes deposits in our Validation Accounts. Granted,repparttar 113716 deposits are very small, andrepparttar 113717 cost is extremely high, but for many of us, this isrepparttar 113718 only way we believe that we can receive validation and attention from others.

Healing means that we will have to give up our "special" status. We will no longer be entitled to berepparttar 113719 center of attention at all times. We will no longer be able to demand that other people notice us and pay us special attention. We will be expected to do things that we may not particularly enjoy, in order to meet our personal and social obligations to others.

If our illness is a chronic disability, healing means that we will once again have to work to earn a living. If we believe thatrepparttar 113720 only way that we can earn a living is doing work that we find repugnant and draining, where isrepparttar 113721 incentive to heal? And, could this belief be one ofrepparttar 113722 primary reasons we created our disability inrepparttar 113723 first place?

Sometimes it's more important to keep our handicapped parking privileges than it is to heal and have to (or even be _able_ to) walk an extra block torepparttar 113724 supermarket.

Please know that there is nothing at all wrong with that choice. We are free to choose to keep our illnesses and our dis-eases. These conditions meet very important needs for us, albeit at a considerable cost. We may not really want to heal, and that's a perfectly acceptable choice.

Of course, once we accept responsibility for having created our illness, and become completely aware ofrepparttar 113725 costs and benefits, we may realize that we can, in fact, meet those needs more effectively in other ways. When we realize this, we are truly ready to heal.

THE COURAGE TO HEAL

Healing is a very threatening process because it requires that we make significant, often dramatic changes in our lives, and change is always threatening. Onrepparttar 113726 most fundamental level, safe equals familiar. When our most basic, physiological needs are being met, we're often able to overcome minor concerns aboutrepparttar 113727 unknown and embrace change without feeling threatened. When we're in pain because of dis-ease, however, our most basic needs are _not_ being met.

When our Physiological Need account is overdrawn, all of our need accounts are put on red alert. When we're in pain, we're most definitely not feeling safe, and _any_ change will be a threat. To make matters worse,repparttar 113728 behaviors that we will have to change-often eating, drinking, and/or smoking-seem to berepparttar 113729 few reliable ways that we can make deposits in our Safety Accounts.

On an intellectual level, we may understand thatrepparttar 113730 only way to truly heal and be free ofrepparttar 113731 pain of our dis-ease is to alter our behavior. However, when our safety needs aren't being met, we act on instinct. The very thought that we have to give uprepparttar 113732 few things that give us pleasure makes us feel even _less_ safe.

What happens next is that we often retreat into victim consciousness. We long forrepparttar 113733 magic wand that will miraculously makerepparttar 113734 pain go away and let us continue with our lives exactly as they are, because that'srepparttar 113735 only option we can imagine that lets us feel reasonably safe. When we escape into fantasy, of course, we avoid any personal responsibility. We also give up all personal power, and loserepparttar 113736 ability to heal.

In order to truly heal, we must accept each healing crisis as a call to awareness. When we're in pain, all we can do is find some way to alleviaterepparttar 113737 pain. This is an essential first step. Healing requires that we address our safety needs, and we can't do this until our physiological needs are being met. Healing isn't about stoppingrepparttar 113738 pain; healing is about what we choose to do oncerepparttar 113739 pain has stopped.

Healing is not about pain management; it's about safety management. In order to change our behaviors and allow our bodies to heal, we must learn how to manage our Safety Accounts.

For example, we might have an emotional attachment to sugar. Anytime we feel stressed, unhappy, or otherwise unsafe, we can always rely on a candy bar or some ice cream to make us feel a little better. If we are at risk for diabetes, however, eating sugar poses serious health risks. Of course, repparttar 113740 thought of having to give up sugar makes us feel unsafe, and in order to replenishrepparttar 113741 balance in our Safety Account, we dive into a pound of Godiva chocolates.

The only way to break this pattern is to learn to manage our Safety Account. We must discover other behaviors that help us to feel safe that do not involve eating sugar. We can use repparttar 113742 "Present Moment Awareness Safety Exercise" (see "The Relationship Handbook" page 48) to manage our general stress levels so that we're less likely to give in to our cravings. We experiencerepparttar 113743 truth that we can meet our needs in many different ways, and so we do not feel threatened and unsafe byrepparttar 113744 thought of limiting or excluding sugar from our diet. And, of course, we apply AWARENESS, OWNERSHIP and CHOICE to create new behaviors that support our health.

Now, anyone who has struggled with attachments or addictions will tell you that whilerepparttar 113745 theory is very simple, simple isn'trepparttar 113746 same thing as easy! Throughoutrepparttar 113747 process, we also have to be careful not to trigger our egos (as we covered in Part 1). We must take small steps, validating and rewarding ourselves for each elegant choice, no matter how small, and avoid punishing ourselves for not being able to change our behavior patterns instantly.

We did not create our dis-eases overnight, and we won't be able to heal them overnight, either. We must accept that healing is a gradual process, and in this acceptance is one ofrepparttar 113748 keys to healing. We generally do not need to make drastic, immediate changes in order to heal. We can make gradual changes in our behavior and our beliefs, andrepparttar 113749 more gentle we are with ourselves duringrepparttar 113750 process,repparttar 113751 more successful it will be.

Healing does not have to be difficult. It's just that for most of us, as soon as we stop hurting, we lose interest in actually healing.

Kevin B. Burk is the author of The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life. Visit http://www.everyrelationship.com for a FREE report on creating AMAZING Relationships.


Motorized Scooters Wheelchairs

Written by Maricon Williams


Continued from page 1

At present, motorized scooters wheelchairs can be seen in action in many places as people use them to take care of business. One ofrepparttar most common places to seerepparttar 113714 scooters is at various stores that provide them for their customers who have a hard time making it through aisle after aisle without aid. These scooters let individuals take care of their shopping needs as comfortably as possible.

A number of people are buying these scooters because they need help from time to time and can easily get in and out of them. They are becoming increasingly well-liked as people seerepparttar 113715 advantages of using a scooter in a complicated lifestyle. If consideringrepparttar 113716 purchase of a wheelchair for light use, a scooter may berepparttar 113717 way to travel.

Motorized Scooter wheelchairs are great for both transportation and assistance. If you are planning to purchase a regular wheelchair, think it over many times because you might not findrepparttar 113718 vital assistance that you most need.

For additional Information about the articles you may visit http://www.wheelchairspower.com


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