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Children and divorce consideration 2: Make sure 'guilt' isn't real reason that you aren't getting a divorce.
The 'guilt' referenced above is guilt brought on by thinking that your divorce will hurt your children. In and of itself, this feeling of guilt is a selfish one if you haven't really examined carefully if a divorce will have an adverse effect on your children. If you aren't getting divorced because of guilt in this regard, but you still have an unhappy marriage that is affecting your children, then you aren't really staying married for them, you're staying married for you because you feel guilty...this is selfish.
Children and divorce consideration 3: Once you've clearly defined that you are in fact, not getting a divorce solely because you have children, examine why you think divorce will adversely affect your children.
Remember, divorce can have a negative effect on children initially, but that doesn't necessarily mean that a divorce will be a negative influence on your children forever.
Decide whether or not your children have resiliency, intelligence, emotional health, and support they'd need to mitigate adverse effects that a divorce would have on them. Will they be happy after initial shock of divorce is worked through?
Children and divorce consideration 4: Once you've really defined what you believe to be negative effects on your children due to divorce, think about what your children's life will be like in immediate and distant future if you do actually go through with divorce.
Ask yourself, "Can I create and maintain a healthy environment for my children if I do get a divorce?"
One thing that is a critical factor in this decision is feasibility of you and your spouse getting a divorce amicably. If you and your spouse can go through a divorce amicably, and you both can agree to always put your children's welfare above your own, you will be one step ahead.
Again, make sure you are certain a divorce is necessary to create right type of environment for your children. Assure that there is absolutely no way you can rekindle your marriage.
Usually, divorce represents first real trauma of a child's life. Keep this in mind when your making your divorce decision. Divorce is a serious step and nothing should be done until your're certain that divorce is best course of action. Getting a divorce without making sure that divorce is right thing is selfish on your part and is wrong thing to do to your children...after all, they deserve your best effort!
One thing should remain constant...that you and your spouse will always be there for your children, no matter what.
Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to thier clients. Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide!
Deciding on Divorce
Children and Divorce