There is a cyclic pattern in that minds thoughts are put into action by intellect to create impressions or memory of past actions. Repeated actions, especially those of a negative nature, create habits and addictions when your minds thoughts are acted upon without being judged by intellect.

Smoking, consuming alcohol and indulging in sexual lust are actions that you enter into in search of happiness and fulfilment. The happiness created is just an illusion because ether senses are temporarily incapacitated or happiness cannot be sustained. You suffer negative consequences of addiction and dependency due to need for increasingly more stimulants in an effort to create decreasing levels of temporary happiness. When you perform actions without thinking, you, soul becomes a slave to your senses. Addiction and dependency are not just smoking and consuming alcohol. Laziness is an addiction just as is over-eating. Expectation from others is a dependency. Almost anything that you want or desire rather than need is a form of addiction.

The word “I” is used to refer to experiences and wishes of soul with statements such as “I am”, “I love” and “I hope”.

The word “My” is used to refer to physical body, possessions and activities with statements such as “My hand” “My car” or “My job”

The advantage of knowing “who I am” is to realise and use powerful spiritual energy that is within your body.

With you intellect now awakened you can focus on your power of judgement to become more selective and choose only those thoughts that will lead you to experience permanent happiness and contentment. Addiction to temporary happiness can now be avoided. Bad habits can be replaced with good habits you can be proud of. You can be more peaceful and deliberate rather than tense and anxious. You come to realise that happiness is a state of mind that it is created by you. Likewise you can avoid unhappiness or experience of sorrow because you do not need to experience negative feelings.

You can and should be in control over your body’s senses.

With realisation that you are a peaceful soul you can begin to see others as equals to establish relationships of harmony. You can now avoid personality clashes and discriminations based on sex, colour, language, nationality, religion, culture and physical disabilities.

Most of your activities such as eating, sitting, working and sleeping are all done for health of your physical body. What we all do is fail to address need for peace and happiness of real you, soul within body.

So back to question, who are you?

I can not give you answer as only you know. I have just set question to make you think.

Webster defines perfectionism as "a disposition, which regards anything short of perfect as unacceptable". The torment for perfectionists is that they never find anything perfect, simply because perfection does not exist. Instead they suffer from social and personal anxiety and strained relationships. To find peace, accept ourselves and nurture best in us, we have to overcome perfectionism and:

·Use our mistakes as opportunities for growth ·Set goals in line with who we are and what we want ·Accept ourselves as human beings with flaws ·Give a little less than 100% and still experience success ·Enjoy journey instead of just focussing on goal ·Recognize that anxiety arises when we set unrealistic goals ·Understand that we get more done and feel better about ourselves if we don’t strive for perfection. ·Give up irrational belief that relationships must be perfect ·Stop second guessing ourselves ·Be compassionate with ourselves and our partners

Thousands of people give less than 100% to a goal, but 100% to journey and succeed. Everyday people don’t give all they’ve got, but still get done what they need to. If we try to give 100 % to everything we do, we never get enough done. Perfectionists operate on assumption that unless they can give 100 % to a task, they won’t even start. As a result, they become occupied with trivial details and put off tasks until they can make a 100% effort. Perfectionists tend to be procrastinators with endless to-do lists and dreams put on hold until “some day.”

When it comes to relationships, perfectionists don’t do that well either. Single perfectionists keep on dating without making a choice, thinking someone more perfect will be around corner. When they are in a relationship, fear that it might not be perfect, keeps their relationships from progressing. Even when they finally settle with a partner, second-guessing their choice and being critical of their partner ensures frustrating relationships. Compromise in love as well as in life is difficult for them. Perfectionists pay a high price for misguided belief that choosing right love partner will guarantee a perfect relationship.

The entire perfectionist-trap becomes a vicious cycle in life and love. The more we attempt to be perfect in every area, more anxious we get. This anxiety is coupled with a feeling of always falling short or behind. Consequently we concentrate on what is wrong with us or what we didn’t do. While doing our very best is admirable, more often than not, doing a good job is enough. The truth is that we are always half-cooked human beings in transition. Nobody will love us any more just because we are more perfect. We are being loved for passion and spirit we bring to table as genuine human beings.

© 2005 Allie Ochs