You go to grocery store to get your food. We cut out middle man. We pick our own raspberries (both black and red) out back. And out front. And down hill. And over in woods.

We grow our own apples; in fact, trees might give fruit by next year...hopefully.

And when we're in mood for chicken, we sit silently at property line with a hatchet, waiting for a stray bird to accidentally wandering under fence. Or we drive to town for some KFC.

It's true. The nearest grocery store is seven miles away. But it takes me only seven minutes to get there...which is how long it took me to get out of condo parking lot when I lived in city.

We don't need bars. We have bonfires. The action gets pretty hot, especially when we have plenty of wood to burn. And who needs alcohol when you can just stand downwind from fire?

We don't worry too much about breathing in pollution. There's not much of that around here. But we do keep our mouths closed when mosquitoes are swarming.

Lady bugs are very pretty, but not when there are 30,000 of them squeezing their way into your walls. If only they ate mosquitoes

We have mice. You have rats. Mice are cuter.

Too bad they don't eat mosquitoes.

Sure I commute. What do you think we have a staircase for?

Don't get me wrong, city's a great place for theatre, basketball and fancy restaurants that serve you itsy bitsy morsels on huge white plates with sweeping splashes of colored sauces.

But have you ever noticed how very few depictions of paradise include skyscrapers, traffic lights and hot dog vendors? Come pay us a visit and you can enjoy paradise all to yourself...if you don't mind sharing it with chickens, skunk, crickets, mice and mosquitoes.

Excuse me now. I have a mouse trap to empty.

Enemy?! What is everyone talking crazy for? This is just for FUN!

And at that moment, young man boy threw a kick to his opponent’s head and it landed right on his nose! Blood was spurting out everywhere and by sound of it, it was broken for sure.

Oh my goodness, what did I sign up for? Was this some secret underground fight club and only one person was supposed to come out alive? Did my husband secretly arrange for me to be here when he was out of town to teach me a lesson? I'm not that competitive!

I started praying. Please don't let me bleed too much. I just got this uniform and blood is so hard to get out. Lord I will be nice when we play card games at home from now on!

I looked over at my secret movie pal, Siskel, now with fear in my face. Luckily she had same look in her eyes.

Fortunately for both of us, there is a lot less rage, stamina, and oxygen for that matter, in over forty women's division.

We both went out to middle. We shook hands and bowed. When they said "Sijak" which means "begin" in Korean, but always reminds me of Pat Sajak and makes me want to buy a vowel, we began.

Punch, kick, punch...huff, puff, huff puff. Kick kick kick. Whew, huff, puff. I don't know what it looked like from side, but it definitely didn't feel like ultimate fighting match we had just seen before us.

All of a sudden, Siskel threw a pretty solid punch at my chest, and then she immediately said, "Oh, sorry!"

I busted up. I laughed at thought of us, two ladies who should be exchanging movie reviews and recipes for desserts, out here punching and kicking each other and then apologizing for it. I laughed so hard, my mouthpiece came flying out onto mat and then she started laughing. She said at least it wasn't my teeth! I got a side cramp. They had to call time so we could compose ourselves.

We finished three rounds and score was 8 points to 4. I took home a gold medal and realized it WAS FUN!

I only wish I had video taped match so perhaps my husband would lift ban on my playing in game night!

© Gina Schreck is the “Cheerman of the Bored” and she helps people Reconnect with What Matters Most! She is the author of several books, including Inside Out Success: Reconnecting with What Matters Most, and Marriage Mechanics: A Tune Up for the Highway of Love! She speaks to organizations that want to improve relationships from the inside out. To contact Gina, call 303-978-0887 or check out her website at http://www.schrecktalk.com/