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However, as adults it is
inner underminers who cause most damage. The inner underminers are wounded parts of ourselves that hold our limiting beliefs – lies we learned about ourselves, others, and God. These underminers shout lies to us that cause our fears and anxieties and keep us from fully manifesting all that we are.
Paul is a very competent man, yet every time he gets a new idea of something he wants to do with his work and his life, his underminer says, “You can’t do it. You will fail.” His underminer keeps him immobilized and “safe.”
Julia is a talented writer, yet has never submitted her writing for publication. Whenever she starts to move toward submitting her writing, her underminer shouts, “No one will listen to you. No one wants to read what you write.”
For a long time, Joanna has wanted to leave her job and go back to school for further training. Yet whenever she contemplates this, her underminer sneaks in with lie that stops her every time: “If you leave your job, you will never find another one. God will not support you in doing what you want to do.”
Robert is unhappy in his relationship. His girlfriend, Marian, just wants to be taken care of. She is often very angry at Robert when he wants to spend time with friends or even time alone, and does not support him in what brings him joy. She is an underminer, yet it is his inner underminer that keeps him from leaving. “You will end up alone and be more miserable than you are now.”
Suzanne was “smart one” in her family, while her sister was “pretty one.” Her parents undermined her by telling her over and over that she needed to learn to take care of herself because no man would want her. Now, a successful and attractive woman, Suzanne’s underminer constantly tells her, “You will always be alone. You are not meant to have a relationship.” Because of her underminer, Suzanne approaches relationships with a chip on her shoulder, creating rejection she is hoping to avoid.
“You can’t.” “You will fail.” “You are inadequate.” “Who do you think you are?” “You will end up alone.” “You are ugly.” “You are alone – God does not exist.” “Spirit will not support you because you are not good enough.”
The underminer – undermining your happiness, peace and joy. Why not be a superhero and stop listening to underminer?
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
