When Your Children Come From Different PlanetsWritten by Kenneth A. Sprang and Carol Sprang, MA, RNC, LCPC
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Second, inevitably, one child will have characteristics that push our buttons more than another—reminding ourselves of our experience growing up or maybe of one parent or other. For example, during our travels my sister mentioned that she is constantly nagging our niece about keeping her face clean. “Why?” I asked. My sister thought a moment, and then as tears flowed she said “Because I had a face patchy with acne as a kid.” A quiet but profound discovery of link between her own past and her interaction with her daughter. So, how do we deal with our children’s differences? First, recognize that they are each unique individuals, and part of their life journey as children, particularly as adolescents, will be to discover and claim their individuality. Celebrate their differences. Find ways to affirm each of them for unique talents and strengths. And never, never compare them with one another—at least not aloud. Second, when you find certain behaviors or actions driving you crazy, or find yourself in constant conflict, pause for a moment and ask why you are making a particular rule, or enforcing particular behavior. Is it for child’s good, or does your motivation really lie in ancient hurts of your own? You may or may not still choose to continue rule or behavior, but you will know why. And if, as in my sister’s case, it comes out of an earnest desire to spare your child some hurt you experienced, tell child. Share your honest feelings, so that he or she will hear your “nagging” as an act of love, and not as another note of parental control against which child may want to rebel. In short, affirm them often for uniqueness, for their individuality. Love them for who they are not simply for what they do. Share feelings with them. And listen, really listen to their thoughts and feelings. The rewards will be priceless.
Kenneth Sprang, MA, JD, and Carol Sprang, MA, RNC, LCPC direct Bethesda-Chevy Chase Counseling & Consulting in Bethesda, offering Imago Relationship Therapy, relationship and executive coaching, individual and couples coaching and counseling, and business consulting services. (301)907-3377, ext. 93. ken@bcccounseling.com. http://www.bcccounseling.com
| | A New Take on Family Game NightWritten by Lisa, Eric and Adam Hendey
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I’m typically not a big proponent of video games, but I found Madagascar Animal Trivia DVD Game to be a high quality product. As Eric stated, Dynamic Leveling feature kept game fair (even for Mom, who knows much less about animals than her boys!). Additionally, game features a variety of question formats, stunningly photographed animal footage, and over 1600 questions on animals of all types, making it a true learning experience. Single player and time limit options are also available. Great for families with school aged children, one limitation I can see to this product is that only four people can play at one time…larger families may have to exercise some “turn taking”, as your kids (and their parents) will likely want to participate once they see this game. That said, I’d recommend Madagascar Animal Trivia DVD Game for families looking to enjoy a new take on family game night, or an updated alternative to Slug Bug, car bingo, and family sing-alongs in minivan! For more information on Madagascar Animal Trivia DVD Game visit http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0007Y4D9I/catholicmomcom Lisa M. Hendey is a mother of two sons, webmaster of numerous web sites, including http://www.catholicmom.com. Eric and Adam Hendey are students, avid readers and gamers, and all around great guys. Visit Lisa at http://www.lisahendey.com for more information.
Lisa M. Hendey is a mother of two sons, webmaster of numerous web sites, including http://www.catholicmom.com. Eric and Adam Hendey are students, avid readers and gamers, and all around great guys. Visit Lisa at http://www.lisahendey.com for more information.
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