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Beverly saw that much of her anxiety centered around wanting to control how others saw her and treated her. She realized that she judged herself in hopes of getting herself to perform right. She noticed that she was constantly seeking others’ approval because of being so critical of herself.

Learning to be compassionate with herself rather than judgmental was a challenge that took time and dedication. She was so used to judging herself that she would do it without realizing it. Through her inner work, Beverly became aware of fact that most of critical things she told herself about herself were just not true - they were beliefs she had absorbed from her parents but were not reality of who she was. As she paid attention to her self-judgments, she noticed that her anxiety was directly related to her judgments, false beliefs, and desire to control getting approval from others.

As Beverly slowly learned to be a loving inner parent rather than a critical one, her anxiety gradually diminished. Any time it she felt anxious, she could now trace it back to something she had told herself that not only was not true, but was self-critical. She discovered that she had been using her spiritual connection as a way of avoiding responsibility for herself, rather than as guidance in what was loving to herself. As she opened to learning about what was loving to herself, she gained more access to and connection with her spiritual source of guidance. The more Beverly took loving care of herself, more inner peace she attained.