5. If discussion gets heated, agree to disagree. Fighting about how to parent is only going to make situation worse. Walk away, take a break and discuss it when you are not angry.

6. Plan ahead. Discuss problem situations you are having with your children. For instance, if you are having a problem with your child having temper tantrums, discuss how you think this should be handled. If you have a plan in action, it will be easier for both of you to follow each other's wishes.

7. Pick your battles. Some things you may never agree on. You don't have to agree on everything. Find issues that are most important to you and work on resolving those first.

8. Do not argue about parenting in front of your children. This is easier said than done. The best way to handle a situation you don't agree with is not to interrupt but to wait till later and then discuss how you think it could have been handled differently. 9. Work on role modeling communication. If your children see that you communicate and problem solve together, they will grow up to do same. Children often repeat patterns of their own parents. Look at your relationship and evaluate how you communicate. Is this way you would like your children to communicate with their future partner?

10. Parenting and relationships are a growing process. The more you communicate better parent/partner you will be. Learn from each other and listen to each other. Build on your parenting strengths and tackle your parenting weaknesses a little at a time. It won't happen over night but if you continue to discuss things with your partner calmly and positively you will become better parenting partners.

I was shocked, hurt and angry all at same time. I turned to my mother and said, "I hate him." She looked at me with her beautiful blue eyes and said, "That's not nice. He was just doing his job. Can you imagine how hard it must be for him to have to tell his patients bad news like that?"

Oh, Mom, you certainly were something.

In years since I lost my mom, things have changed in many ways. There are sorrows and bittersweet longings, but her gentle lessons continue to touch my life and guide me.

Mom would be proud to know that my husband John and I recently published our first children's book. Although we originally set out to write an entertaining story about a boy with school troubles, I soon discovered that John was victim of a school bully. He had buried hurt and humiliation deep inside, but as we stepped further into writing process, impact of his experience was evident.

My mother's lessons taught me to listen closely to soft whispers of life. This perspective helped me to realize that a message emerged from our collaboration, beyond pages of our book. This knowledge changed direction of our lives.

Our children's book became basis for an anti-bullying program. The program, filled with stories, songs and practical advice, teaches children about consequences of bullying and helps to provide a safe and healthy learning environment.

Today, as John and I speak at schools and community events, I pray that our pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal moments serve to help children. Because now, I understand.

AWARENESS

Necks crane as innocent eyes follow my every move Silent, enthralled children, A captive audience In wake of their hushed response, I hear echo of my own words. Anticipation looms Awaiting an answer A solution, an explanation, I cannot provide. I have let them down For I can only share my story, Not repair social injustice that has befallen them. They are victims, As once was I With only my experience to offer, I silently pray to ease their anguish, Whilst knowing I cannot. Gatto/De Angelis ©2004