Continued from page 1
-- If money grows on trees, how come all we get are a bunch of rotten apple investment certificates?
-- Let me get this straight, if I bite into that apple, I can play “Devil’s Advocate” for a day?
-- I’m tired of being “touched by an angel”, can we try something spooky for a change?
-- If I’d wanted to play “snakes and ladders”, I’d have married a social-climbing serpent!
-- Wow, it’s another episode of "Desperate Housewives in Paradise" -- do you mind if I sit down and watch?
-- Okay honeybun, where’d you put my “Get Out of Jail Free Card” anyway?
-- Look at it this way, if God had wanted me to bite into that apple, he wouldn’t have given me dentures!
-- I don’t polish apples for anyone, and that includes you!
-- Why don’t you put that apple on your head, while I find my plucky bow and trusty arrow.
-- What could be more rewarding than biting a few biscuits, dust bunnies, or speeding bullets?
-- Perhaps you could read one more chapter from my favorite pillow book, "The Boo Hoo Bible: The Neo American Church Catechism" by Art Kleps -- before we retire for night.
-- Listen, being President of a meat-eating country means you don't have to eat broccoli, sprouts or apples for that matter!
-- Hey, I know Popeye eats spinach to make him big and strong, but are you sure that munching on bag of apples will make me a Wicked Witch to be reckoned with?
Theolonius McTavish, an itinerant scribe in the Palace of The Quipping Queen (http://www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com) and the perambulating, pondering sort who has a frightful aversion to apples, Eves and anything named "Paradise".