What to Look for in the Person You Marry

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

Continued from page 1

As you read these, if you ASSUME that one or more of them is what everyone wants, you particularly need to pay attention, because in actuality itís amazing what people do want and expect that other people donít.

Itís important to know what you want, and then to observerepparttar person youíre considering marrying. Tom, for instance, primarily wanted a homemaker and recreational playmate from a wife. Middle-aged, he fell in love with a woman in her mid-30s who had never been married. This should have been a red-flag that domestic life probably wasnít what she was interested in. Once married, she became ardently interested in a career, since he provided herrepparttar 146791 opportunity to get further education, and as she turned her focus there, all hopes of recreational companionship for Tom vanished. She, onrepparttar 146792 other hand, had expected emotionally oriented conversation from him (openness), and joint accelerating career and financial goals. To him, ďshe never cooked or cleaned house.Ē To her, ďhe just wanted to play.Ē

It is devastating when we love someone and find out too late they arenít interested inrepparttar 146793 same things. It is hard to trade off meeting needs that really arenít felt and enjoyed, and accommodation isnít always possible, i.e., you either are faithful or you arenít, you either want kids or you donít. If you want financial support from a man, itís best to find one who really loves to make money. If you want physical affection from a woman, itís best to find one who canít keep her hands off you. These things canít be faked, but, sometimes, when falling in love, we fool ourselves and therefore foolrepparttar 146794 other person.

Issues can become clouded during courtship, especially when there is sex too soon. Physical intimacy causes those wonderful chemicals that cloud our thinking, and startrepparttar 146795 bonding process. We can start to need and want a person who ultimately may not be able to meet our marital needs.

Take some time to envision carefully what you want marriage to look like. Observerepparttar 146796 person you have in mind in different situations. For instance, Tom might have noticed, if he hadnít been so ďin love,Ē that his partner didnít know how to cook and was never at home. She, onrepparttar 146797 other hand, might have noticed most of his time and enthusiasm went into his recreation, and that he was content with his job and financial situationrepparttar 146798 way they were.

Nothing is insurmountable, but you increase your chances by being mindful atrepparttar 146799 outset. Couples surviverepparttar 146800 infertility of one when they both wanted children, and a spouse can learn to verbalize, or make physical,repparttar 146801 affection they feel, if they want to please, butrepparttar 146802 couch potato and amateur athlete who marry will canít accommodate, andrepparttar 146803 career-driven women wonít be happy baking bread and being available for tennis games.

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success. Training and certifying EQ coaches. Email for information on this affordable, fast, effective, no-residency program. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn for free ezine.

Do You Want to Just Survive or Thrive? (part one)

Written by Jayce McMeeken

Continued from page 1

It wasnít bringing me more time with my family to appreciate and experience LIFE.

It wasnít a fight that was mine!

And thatísrepparttar bottom line! The fight that many of us face every day is often not a fight that by winning it makes us happy. So I resolved to become a warrior that fights for what I believe in. I resolved to become a warrior that fights forrepparttar 146790 life that is best suited to me and my familyís lifestyle.

I resolved to fight for what counts!

It was my fault for my circumstances and it was because of lack of action towardsrepparttar 146791 important elements in life. It was my fault and no one else could be blamed and no excuse could be used Ė I was accountable!

Once this adjustment was made to my perspective,repparttar 146792 doors to abundance began to open wide enough for me to sneak a peak. What I saw helped me to believe that maybe, just maybe,repparttar 146793 lifestyle that my family and I want is possible for us.

It has becomerepparttar 146794 fight of my life.

ďFighting to payrepparttar 146795 bills is hardly worth itÖ fight for a better life!Ē

Jayce McMeeken, the founder of ďAbsolute Coaching InternationalĒ and author of the inspirational book ďBelieve You Are RICH!Ē. Want more money? Want to invest safely but with great returns? Visit Jayce at www.absolutecoaching.com Please mention this article for a discount on any product.

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