What to Do With Your Feelings

Written by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist


Continued from page 1

* Cry. If you feel like crying, give yourself permission to do this.

* Write or draw from this feeling place. Don’t censor yourself, letrepparttar feeling dorepparttar 131116 writing or drawing.

* Say out loud what you need to say to someone.

* Tell someone supportive how you are feeling.

It's too much for me. I can't take it any more. What do I do?

1. Comfort and reassure yourself:

* Talk to yourself as you would a friend. Be gentle and kind.

* Reassure yourself with whatever you need to hear, for example, "I’m okay, I’m safe."

* Curl up in a comfortable chair/bed with a blanket, a warm drink, a good book, or watch a show on T.V.

* Do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself to something special, take a bubble bath, go to a spa, get a massage.

* Talk to a supportive friend. Ask for what you need.

2. Take a break from your feelings:

Sometimes feelings become overwhelming and you need a break from them. This doesn't mean denying that they are there, only that you need a break and will come back to them later when you are rested. After taking a break, it is important to come back to your feelings. They may have changed, and that's okay.

* Create a safe inner place. Let your imagination create an image of something(s) that represents how you are feeling right now. It may be concrete or abstract. Take your time, let your imagination develop this fully. Then imagine a protective bubble around this image, separating yourself from it. Look atrepparttar 131117 image. Notice that it is still there, but separate from you. Your feelings are still there, but you are not in them right now. You have a choice, you don't have to be in your feelings right now. Let yourself takerepparttar 131118 break that you need. Taking this break will mean that you will be better able to deal with them later. You may want to imagine yourself in a safe place -- any image that you choose.

* Remember times when you felt good. Let yourself relax and get comfortable. Breathe gently. Remember a time when you felt good, loved or calm. It could be something that really happened, or something that you create, like being near a waterfall. Imagine being in this situation or with this person, and feel all of those pleasant feelings. Feel your body shift from what you were feeling, letting those feelings go. Let yourself feel more relaxed, comforted or at peace. Stay with this memory or image until you feel really connected to it.

* Exercise vigorously. This can help you to relax, feel energized, and generally feel better.

* Do something that relaxes you.

* Do something that absorbs your attention fully. This can help you to shift out of how you are feeling.

* Get a change of scenery. If you have been at home or inrepparttar 131119 same room a lot, maybe you need to get out, even if only for a walk aroundrepparttar 131120 block. Change your patterns. If you always go home after work only to feel stuck in your feelings, maybe you need to do something different -- go see a concert, a movie, or have dinner out, something that makes you feel good. Doing things to take care of yourself alone may be better than going home alone.

It's not always easy to stay with your feelings, but it can be rewarding when you do.

© Kali Munro, 2000. http://www.KaliMunro.com

Kali Munro, M.Ed., is a psychotherapist in private practice with twenty years experience. She offers free healing resources at her site, http://www.KaliMunro.com


Portable Comfort: How to Carry Comfort With You in Comfort Bags

Written by Cheryl Rainfield


Continued from page 1

* bring a MP3 player, CD player, or walkman with you. Put together a mixture of music that you find soothing or uplifting, and bring that with you. Or you might want to bring along a tape made by your therapist, friend, lover, or yourself, that tells yourepparttar messages you need to hear, or reads aloud your favourite book. You can also take along a relaxation tape.

* take some small snacks or food you can fit into your bag, purse, or backpack. Food can be both a comfort, and a help in balancing how you feel. If you go too long without food and your blood sugar drops, you may not even notice or connect that you’re feeling lousy because you haven’t eaten -- but it can happen. It helps to bring something you can just nibble on when you get hungry. You might want to pack: o something sweet from your childhood that makes you feel good - like a certain gum or candy or chocolate; o fruit - an apple or orange; o a little snack pack of crackers and cheese, a granola bar, or trail mix o cut up veggies o bottle of water or juice

* bring along a comfort book A comfort book is something you create for yourself, by pasting or drawing things ontorepparttar 131114 pages. It’s a small notebook or sketchbook filled with things that make you feel good: o a letter from a friend; o photos of people you love; o images that make you feel good (you can make colour photocopies of a few pages out of a book, or scan them); o little cartoons that make you smile, etc.

* bring a good-things-about-me booklet A Good-Things-About-Me booklet is a little booklet or notebook that you write good things about yourself in. It can be very hard to write good things about yourself, especially if you don’t believe them, but writing good things and reading them can help you believe them. You might also want to think aboutrepparttar 131115 good things other people have said about you, and see if you’d like to include those, too. Or you might want to ask a friend, therapist, or lover to write out some things you can include.

* bring some small vials of essential oils, or some smell that makes you feel good Smell is one of our most powerful senses. Something that smells good to us can lift our spirits. Think of a warm cinnamon bun, or a freshly cut orange. Essential oils have properties that can help ease depression, lift spirits, and sootherepparttar 131116 soul (when used in conjunction with other things). They are espeically nice because they are natural, and, in my experience, they really do help. You might want to use these oils to: o lift your spirits: orange, ylang ylang, bergamot o calm and soothe: lavender, chamomile, rose, jasmine o increase confidence: bergamot, grapefruit, jasmine

* carry a small tincture. You might want to tuck a small tincture into your pocket or bag. Bach remedies is one such brand of tinctures. Rescue Remedy isrepparttar 131117 most famous remedy. Many survivors swear by it. I found that Rock Rose really works for me when I feel terror. You might want to think about what feeling you need help with -- panic, fear, depression, pain, loneliness, feeling unequal -- and then search outrepparttar 131118 appropriate tincture. Try it out for a few weeks, and see if it helps you.

Carrying around some form of comfort, and having it available right when you need it can help ease anxiety and stress, and give you reassurance when you need it. I’ve found that just knowing I have a comfort bag with me is sometimes enough -- and other times, I am grateful I have it with me to dip into. You might want to try carrying around some comfort, and see if it makes a difference in your life.

© Cheryl Rainfield, 2001 http://www.cherylrainfield.com

If you like this article, you may post it on your website or use it in your print publication, as long as you provide a link back to my site (http://www.CherylRainfield.com), and credit me. I'd also really like to know where you put my article, but you don't have to let me know in order to use it.

Cheryl Rainfield's site offers free e-cards and virtual affirmation cards to comfort, inspire, and encourage. There's also a free affirmation screensaver, articles on loving yourself, and more. Cheryl is a lesbian feminist sexual abuse survivor, and a writer and artist. http://www.CherylRainfield.com


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