HOW DO YOU CHOOSE THE RIGHT COACH FOR YOU?

Interview some! Most coaches offer a complimentary interview session. With some it’s strictly interview, while others make it a sample session.

Chances are you’ll either feel a “fit” right away or not. You’ll think things like – I like this person, we get along, she’s easy to talk to, or he really knows his stuff. Go with your gut instincts!

HOW DOES IT WORK?

As many different methods as there are coaches.

HOW LONG DOES IT LAST?

It can go very rapidly. Sometimes I’ve gotten somewhere they wanted to go in one session. Other people I’ve worked with over a year. Coaching is not like therapy (see below). You could compare it in this respect to your accountant, or your general practitioner, nutritionist, or trainer. They are there should you need them, something you do for your wellness or to make your life easier. They’re part of your life! Some coaches require contracts; it’s up to individual. Some require contracts for certain kinds of work but not for others.

With a physical trainer, for instance, you may start out and work for a while and then reach a certain goal and stop for a while. Then you may decide to go back for a tune-up, or further goals. The person already knows you so you don’t have to go through learning curve again.

WHAT IS COACHING NOT?

It is definitely not therapy, though field of psychology is changing, I think in part because of emergence of field of coaching. I believe field of coaching evolved because it met a need that wasn’t being met.

Coaching focuses on strengths, and positive, and turns toward future. It’s a “where do we go from here?” thing, as well as what skills do you need to get there, and what obstacles need to be removed. For example, if you recognize a need to be networking and don’t like it and aren’t good at it, instead of pondering why you don’t and aren’t, we would start working on skills you can learn to reach your objective. With coaching, there’s opportunity for modeling, and also coaches are free to accompany you to, say, a networking event, and observe and give feedback. Neat idea, isn’t it?

It’s also not friendship, no matter how good a friend you have. Friends have their own agendas and issues, and cannot be objective. Coaching is work, pleasant work, but work nonetheless, and it also has ethics. It takes some training and experience to not put your “self” into equation, i.e., if you are timid about being an entrepreneur and prefer working for someone else, you might advise someone else against it, who is very equipped to be an entrepreneur and to succeed at it and love it.

WHAT ELSE?

Many coaches are also teachers, offering teleclasses, distance learning courses and ebooks. They offer workshops, presentations and seminars, and write special reports and white papers.

PAYMENT?

Coaches generally accept credit cards, PayPal or other online payment, money orders and personal checks, depending. Fees vary.

The best way to find these things out is to give it a try. Look up some coaches’ websites and read about them and their work. Then email some to schedule a sample phone session. If you’ve never had coaching, you won’t know exactly how it works, you’re your coach will know! It's free. You have nothing to lose.

This is something really nice you can do for yourself this year.

STEP ONE: Schedule a sample session!

During their early childhood, 60% of introverts surveyed had imaginary playmates or enjoyed steady company of pets which they dressed up and talked to.

Leslie, who seems to have been rather precocious as a child, explained, “[I] usually read. I could make it through two Nancy Drew’s and like a day by time I was in second grade. [I] read Gone with Wind for first time in third grade, and it took me all of three days.”

Many precocious children are introverts. The percentage of introverts increases as IQ and years of education increase. Can you believe some parents try to keep children like this from reading? This is just what happened to girl whose story I told in my article entitled, “The Princess Who Read Too Much,” which is also available on this website and my home page for The IntrovertZCoach.

Sara-Ann, another precocious introvert explained, “I often played by myself in my room while listening to classical music on my transistor radio (starting at about 4 years old).” What about high school? We asked what introverts did after school and on weekends.

Ann, who had to take care of her little sister all through childhood, replied, “By this time my sister was more self-sufficient so I'd usually go to my bedroom, watch TV, write and daydream. I spent A LOT of my time inside my head.”

Sara-Ann replied, “Every so often [I’d] spend time with friends, but usually [I’d] listen to my music, try to teach myself how to read/write music, figure out songs on guitar, read biographies and political/historical books, and do some homework.”

Many introverts mentioned loving to ride their bikes. Ann thought high school was “best time ever” because … “I rode my bike to a quiet place in our suburban neighborhood where there were lots of trees and green grass and I'd lay down near my favorite tree, daydream, listen to music on my little radio and come up with stories to write. It was best time ever.”

Mark mentioned feeling pretty lousy about being an introvert during that time period. “What it was, I was alone. More and more I was taught that being a loner was bad and I started a cycle of ‘ugly extrovert wannabe’." About their general high school experience, reactions were mixed. “Hated it,” replied Ann. “It was noisy and there always seemed to be an element of danger in air. The teenage stage of human development is probably most dangerous. If teens had access to nukes, we'd all be doomed! LOL”

Mark also hated high school. “Point,” he explains. “I was voted in class Prez but didn't hang out with anyone on weekends. I couldn't believe everyone knew me but didn't want my number!”

Gary, a gentle INFP introvert (there are eight different types) was mercilessly teased in high school by class bully. “I’m quiet,” he said. “But I finally had enough. I got really, really mad and beat guy within an inch of his life. The other kids wanted to know what took me so long and voted me class president. I didn’t care. I don’t understand what makes people act like that and it disgusts me.”

Leslie, on other hand, loved high school. “It gave me a greater opportunity to be a nerd. Loved carting all those books around. Instead of getting my books from my locker as I needed them, I’d get all books I needed first thing in morning and get rid of them as I no longer needed them. If there was homework assigned for a class, I carried that book all day, and usually got through all homework before I actually had to take it home.”

So there you have it, from horse’s mouth. Not exactly stereotypical teenager!

Introverts have a hard time coping with a world set up by and for others. Teachers have become more informed about learning styles and will often today structure activities that permit introverted children to work alone at their own speed. It will be helpful to have support of their parents and family at home as well. Please take time to learn about some of different kinds of introverted personalities so you can identify characteristics in your child and support their natural growth. Visit keirsey.com or my home page for more information.

Are you worried about your child’s success later in life? Warren Buffet, Michael Jordan, Mother Theresa and Albert Einstein are examples of different types of introverts who were successful and made lasting contributions to world we live in by being themselves. Why not give gift of self acceptance to your son or daughter by accepting their introversion as a legitimate personality type?