A State of Shock

I was stunned. Not from inelegance of sentiment, but rather from realization that Kyle—even KYLE—had capacity to feel and express compassion. “I’m sorry your old man croaked” wasn't exactly poetic, but to me it was sweetest expression of kindness I had ever heard. It was in that moment that I realized that everyone, no matter how intimidating, has good in there somewhere.

A Lesson for Speaking

I think we need to remember this when we speak to our audiences. We look out and see grumpy frowns or intimidating scowls but even those listeners have hearts and potential to connect with us. We might not be able to connect right away--maybe not ever--but just about everyone has that basic human spark of goodness through which we all connect. Besides, you’ve heard old saying, “Behind every jerk is a sad story.” We need to remember that most intimidating, obnoxious audience members you will ever face most likely got to be that way because of pain. Looking back, Kyle’s bullying no doubt stemmed from a miserable home life. His lashing out at me on schoolyard is not much different than heckler at a comedy club or a nit-picking critic at a presentation. Frustration, disappointment, powerlessness—they all lead to acting out, and as speakers we’re sometimes on receiving end. But no matter how bad behavior, those difficult listeners in your audience still have capacity to support you. I think we can foster their humanness by being first to reach out in a spirit of openness and service. When we speak to serve, with a genuine desire to do good for our listeners, we increase likelihood that their negative energy will diminish in favor of a positive connection. There’s no guarantee that they will reach back to support us, and they may even keep up their offensive behavior, but let’s at least allow for possibility that they might not be as evil as we think.

*Name has been changed to protect privacy

Step #3 - Close Your Eyes and Count Your Breaths

In cycle 1 count 10 breaths in In cycle 2 count 10 breaths out

Do each cycle twice and don't worry if you lose count - just bring yourself back to count and carry on - The aim is to slow your mind down, and get physically comfortable.

Step #4 - Creative Visualisation

During this phase project yourself into future and see yourself as you will be when you have achieved your goal.

Move yourself strongly into future by imagination.

Use strong sensory perception to make conception real. See vibrant colours, feel sun's warmth, breeze and wind against your skin, take in smells and tastes. Notice clothes you are wearing.

Get involved with your surroundings.

Let your mind roam and enjoy sensations - This is conceive and believe in action and it must be real in your mind in order to take effect.

Step #5 - Ask Questions And Let Them Go

From time to time during your visualisation ask a question that is bothering you and then let it go. Ask question by speaking words silently to yourself and then just let it go.

Step #6 - Awake slowly When your alarm rings, bring yourself back to present slowly before arising and carrying on with rest of your days work.

Conclusion ----------

When I learned this technique from Joe Karbo, I was sceptical - but I did it anyway - after all it costs nothing and it's a pleasant break in day.

The strange thing is - It works !

Apply steps in full with conviction, do it for 30 days and you will never look back.

What do these people have in common ?

Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Jimmy Connors, Joe Karbo, Richard Branson, Thomas Edison, Mozart, Albert Einstein.

1) They are best of best in their chosen careers 2) They all use or used a form of creative visualisation

Will you give it a try from today ?

------------------------------------------------------------ Relevant Resources

There are many self-help and creative visualisation web sites Browse for "Creative Visualisation".

There are many books on topic but some that I have found interesting and useful are

Hypno Think - Ursula Markham ISBN 0-7225-0973-1 Creative Visualization - Shakti Gawain ISBN 0-553-27044-3 The Silva Mind Control Method - Jose Silva ISBN 0-586-04850-2

For golfers amongst you How You Can Play Better Golf Using Self Hypnosis - Jack Heise ISBN 0-87980-073-9 Golf Mind Game - Marlin M Mackenzie 0-440-50209-8