What Women Want From Men, Dating and RelationshipsWritten by Toni Coleman, LCSW
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When I asked for their list(s) of turn-off's and pet peeves; conversation turned to physical attraction, which had little mention in first part of our discussion. All stressed importance of good sexual (and overall) chemistry. They cited attributes such as "too frail", "crooked teeth" and "overly muscled" as deal breakers for them. The younger group of women placed a greater emphasis on looks and a need for excitement in their relationships. All agreed that they would not choose a partner who was lacking in ambition and/or who was egotistical and (most likely) unable to be other half of a giving and supportive union. The subject of dating brought up greatest difference in views between two age groups. The younger women had a less defined view of what a date is. Meeting at a bar, a last minute get together and sharing tab were all seen dating, when out with a non-platonic friend. However, 30 somethings felt a date should be arranged ahead of time with one person (formally) asking other one out. All felt that woman should at least offer to split tab, but that man should always pick up check. All agreed that "hooking-up" and "booty calls" are not dates. The women all said that when they really like a guy their feelings are expressed in way they treat him. One woman stated that words are not way women usually express their interest- especially early in a relationship. Everyone agreed that a man can know how a woman feels by nice things she does for him. If she shows a lot of interest in him, cares about what he has to say, and wants to know what is going on in his life- she really likes him. Lastly, we discussed telltale signs of a woman's lack- or loss- of interest. They will not answer (or return) calls, say they are busy/unavailable or use some indirect way to communicate their disinterest. The key point they all agreed on is that women "are taught to be nice, not mean." This is probably why you guys out there are so confused when a woman says one thing and does another. The differences between men and woman have been talked about in books, portrayed in film and used in some of best punch lines. This us/them emphasis seems to have contributed to misinterpretations and poor communication that so many singles lament. This dating coach thinks that dating and relationship communication will be improved when men and women learn to listen to, and really hear, what each other are saying (verbally and non-verbally). Deep listening without an assumption that interpretation and translation is required should help to bring clarity, openness and candor. Imagine a dating game where everyone speaks same language and there are rules for fair play. I'm already imagining an inbox that is not constantly overflowing.
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach who has been quoted in many publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. She is a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO). Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002.
| | Buying Property on The Costa Blanca Written by Anthony Carter
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Most Independent Property Consultants are small specialist family businesses so you can be assured of a professional and friendly service and it does not cost you a penny! In fact using an Independent Property Consultant can save you money! How is this possible? The consultant works closely with reputable agents, builders and developers in area and is paid a portion of commission that is built in to sale price of every property. The agents, builders and developers are happy to do this because they know that consultant is another outlet for their properties and that you, buyer, will be well looked after without them having to invest any considerable time and effort. If you go straight to agent you will still pay same price for property but by using an Independent Property Consultant you can benefit from additional choice, services and advice provided at no cost to you. This does not prevent you from negotiating prices and making offers on specific properties and does not exclude any properties you may see advertised in agents windows, provided you register your interest through consultant in first instant. It is not unknown for same property to be advertised at different prices by different agents and your Independent Property Consultant will know this and guide you to best price. To take advantage of free services provided by an Independent Property Consultant your first task is to make contact by email, fax or telephone. The consultant will call you back to discuss your requirements and explain service he can provide. He will then seek out and select some properties that meet your criteria and forward details to you for your comments. When you are ready to make a visit to view he will help with your travel and accommodation requirements if you wish, very often at discounted prices. The consultant will arrange and accompany you on viewings and meetings with banks, lawyers, notary, etc. and will assist you with all negotiations. This is a welcome alternative to trudging around numerous estate agents in many different areas yourself, or maybe going to a large company with limited choice and a team of young sales people whose main interest is not you, but meeting their sales target! Even after you have bought your new home your Independent Property Consultant will still be there to offer help and advice on all those things necessary with a new property. If you choose to rent it out you will need someone to undertake any maintenance tasks in your absence and provide services required by your tenants. Some of Independent Property Consultants have experience in this field and Holidays and Homes on Costa Blanca also have an office in UK specialising in holiday and long term rentals. If you are going to live in your new home there will be times when you need some advice and assistance and your Independent Property Consultant will still be there to help. He will want you to be his friend and have a friendly chat when you meet in a bar or restaurant, or at tennis club maybe! Go to http://www.holidaysandhomes.com for more details.
Anthony Carter is the founder partner of Holidays and Homes, who are Independant Property Consultants specialising in property sales and rentals on the Spanish Costa Blanca. Holidays and Homes have offices in Benissa on the Spanish Costa Blanca and in West Sussex, England. Web site: http://www.holidaysandhomes.com
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