Studies show that telling “war stories” stresses our bodies just as if thing were happening again right now. Our brains don’t know difference between real and imagined, past or present. The heart pounds, blood pressure goes up … you know this. Pay attention to it! Learn to say “Don’t get me started,” and then refuse to do it.

We can’t help having it, but what are we to do?

Increase your emotional intelligence, learn meditation, exercise, breathe, learn optimism, have a pet, get rid of negative people in your life, learn to self-soothe. The answers are simple, and not easy, but learning to manage your anger can be a matter of life and death.

These are just a few examples of many complex responses to job loss. When you’ve been loyal to an organization and find yourself unexpectedly unemployed, anger is a common reaction. Hiding behind that anger, you’ll often find emotions like hurt and fear. These are natural reactions to assault that you’ve suffered. Your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your financial security have all been attacked. Your body produces these emotions so you can protect yourself. But when they fester and you begin to exhibit signs of bitterness and insecurity, you can become your own enemy.

5 TIPS FOR RENEWING YOURSELF AFTER JOB LOSS 1.Admit that you are hurt and allow yourself to heal. Take advantage of your employer’s transition assistance program. Join a support group. Talk to a life coach. Get counseling. Don’t let your pain turn into bitterness or insecurity. 2.Release your anger. No matter how hard you try to keep your game face on, if you’re still angry with your former employer, person who is interviewing you for next opportunity will know it. Don’t give your former employer that kind of power over your future prosperity. 3.Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Self-doubts will eat away at your confidence and impair your perception of your own abilities. Give yourself credit for your accomplishments and don’t knock yourself for not being able to single-handedly save your company or department. 4.Nurture yourself. Remember: garbage in, garbage out. Listen to uplifting music. Read empowering materials. Talk to encouraging people. Take responsibility for how you feel by doing things that make you feel good. 5.Explore your interests. Ask yourself what it is that you’d really like to do for a living. Then, do it. Up until now, you’ve done what you had to do. Perhaps it’s time to do what you want to do. Trust that desire has been placed inside of you for a reason and go for it.

It’s possible that you can accomplish any or all of these things on your own. But if you’re stuck, you might want to consider partnering with a friend, a coach, a career counselor or, if necessary, a therapist. You don’t have to go it alone. In fact, having someone to help you to identify your blind spots, make recommendations and hold you accountable will pull you out of your slump much more quickly.

Anita Perez is a career strategist and life coach who works with highly motivated people, helping them to use their intelligence, their rich experiences, and their innate resourcefulness to make things happen in their lives. She helps executives in transition to do what they love and love what they do. Contact Anita via email at coach_anita@yahoo.com or by telephone at 215-369-4060. The first coaching session is always free. www.reach-higher.net