After all, there is no value in wanting. As long as you just want, it will always be a want. But when you “decide”, that is to make up your mind that your going to be a “doer” then slowly but surely your life will begin to change. Dedication to accomplish what I believed in wasn’t an over night task, it took years to show up in my life. Yet today I can truly say that I’m not what I use to be.

I don’t think way I use to think. Today my words carry weight. I mean and do what I say. My actions line up with my words. How did I accomplish this? By visualizing what I wanted to do and by being committed to obtaining and living it.

By forsaking every negative force in my life and replacing them with every possible positive I could find. My music, friends (drinking, smoking and single care-free lifestyle buddies) and movies (high sexual content, violence) had to go. They are powerful subtle influences in our lives that corrupt and serve to change our desires.

Getting rid of filth left me more time to concentrate on accomplishing my goals and desires. Enabling me to live my dreams, which incidentally changed with my changed lifestyle.

"Why me?" was question she repeatedly asked. Of course when she asked that question, she got all wrong answers. She felt more depressed. She blamed her father, her mother and everyone for what brought her sufferings. Worst, she blamed herself.

She agreed to go for treatments, chemotherapy and cesium, because she did not want to go through pains.

This was when she took time to look within her. She thought that she might not live long enough so she decided to reconnect with her children. It was not easy especially with her son who had gone through his own childhood trauma.

She turned to her family for moral support and she turned to God.

Now eight years later, she is still alive. Waking up and able to breathe for another day is a gift for her.

She has two grandchildren whom she adores and that give her much joy. She takes some jobs every now and then when her health permits and rests when she needs it.

Her question has changed. She now asks what is it she could do to get more out of what is left? Things happen and happen to us all. Life does not play favorites. Everyone has a story to tell.

It is how we handle it that matters. We do not have to wait until a major catastrophe interrupts us to think of what we should do with our lives.

It is up to us to make or break us. No one can tell our brain and mind what to do. No one can tell us what to think of and what to put inside our head.

We have power to think what we want to think. To forget past hurts or to linger with them.

We can decide, plan and take action on what we want to have, do or be. At least when universe intervenes, we know that we have done our best.