What Forgiveness Is NotWritten by Rosella Aranda
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- Mourning your loss. (Sadness, unlike depression, is a healing force and it will pass.) - Forgiving your transgressor. - Experiencing a new vitality as you reclaim formerly disowned parts of your being. Important: You don’t need to confront anyone or involve anyone else in this process. This is done in privacy and purely for your own release and relief. Some people try to dismiss need for this process by saying such things as, “Well, it doesn’t matter now. That was so long ago.” Or maybe, “Things were different back in old country. None of that makes any difference anymore.” When dealing with profound harm sustained in past, we need to be aware of inconsequential nature of distance and time. In other words, a serious emotional injury sustained long ago and maybe even far away does NOT just wither away into nothingness if you ignore it. The damage is very real and it has serious ongoing repercussions if it is not squarely faced and dealt with. People fear that acknowledging great harm done will unleash hateful and violent acts. Quite contrary. It is these “unconscious grudges” that we carry in our hearts that result in cruelty. Often this escapes our conscious awareness. It is also these unacknowledged wounds, waiting like frightened children at “Lost and Found” that result in depression. It takes tremendous psychic energy to keep stuffing those strong, raw emotions down and keep them in check, especially when we’re not even aware of exactly what it is we are hiding from! I would like to stress once again, suppressed pain and stifled anger will not go away just because you ignore them. They will dissipate only in face of acknowledgement. By following steps outlined above, you will naturally arrive at a place where you are ready to exercise forgiveness. You will have reached a place where you are sick and tired of wasting mental and psychic energy on nursing painful grudges. You will no longer wish to tolerate any nasty pangs of resentment. It will become unacceptable to send your thoughts into a mental sewer just so that you can keep your offender in his place. An act of pardon will evolve naturally as we honor our true feelings. This does not mean that we have to go and broadcast what we find to world. It simply means that we ourselves have to be willing to look at and see Truth. As a parting note, let us strive to remember that forgiveness is not a self-righteous act of virtue or altruism. It is not cause for arrogance or fanfare or a holier-than-thou attitude. The decision to forgive is supremely practical and self-affirming. Self-affirmation is what people need most. And only we can do this for ourselves.
Rosella Aranda, marketer and writer, helps entrepreneurs change their thinking and escape limitations permanently. http://www.FromThoughtsToRiches.com/ Now on Audio. http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/ Free mini-course!
How Do You Habitually Treat Yourself? Written by Rosella Aranda
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with constant, abiding, unconditional acceptance that we all crave. ~ Tips for Improvement ~ Tip #1 - Every time you look in mirror, look yourself in eye. Stay there, don’t look away. (Some people have trouble doing even this much.) Now, smile at yourself with just your eyes, nothing phony. Acknowledge face in glass as a dear friend, whose opinion you admire, whose support you feel privileged to have. THIS is person you most want on your side. Not big “they” out there, as in “What will ‘they’ think?” It is now: “What do YOU think, my dear friend in looking glass?” Tip #2 – Immediately drop any negative, hateful or belittling remarks to yourself. This includes any unspoken comments. For example, do you ever look at yourself in mirror and groan? I’m sorry, but I must tell you that this is just plain rude! How do you think you would react if someone else did that to you? Wouldn’t you be insulted and hurt and just a little appalled at that person’s bad manners? And would it ever occur to you to treat one of your friends that way? You wouldn’t do it! You would realize how unkind and tactless such a reaction would be. You would probably look at your friend with compassionate concern. You might wonder if he is sick or if he’s been getting enough rest, but you certainly wouldn’t look at him and say, “Ugh!” So why is it that people let themselves get away with treating themselves so shabbily? Perhaps no one has ever pointed this out to you before. Or maybe you have never given yourself permission to treat yourself gently before.
Now that you’ve been made aware of this, I trust you will find it easy and highly desirable to make these simple changes. And these two changes alone will result in some profound internal shifts. So new order of day is this: If it’s not something that you would say or do to a cherished friend, then you do not say or do it to yourself, period. I hope that you will give these techniques a serious workout . Your emotional well-being is well worth effort. It is foundation upon which all else will be built.
Rosella Aranda, marketer and writer, helps entrepreneurs change their thinking and escape limitations permanently. http://www.FromThoughtsToRiches.com/ Now on Audio. http://www.FinancialFreedomWorld.com/ Top Tools! http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/ Free mini-course.