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The final choice is to accept it. Accepting it is different from other two options. In first two choices, woman is changing external circumstances. When she is attempting to change it, she is trying to change her partnerís behavior. When she is leaving it, she is changing her circumstances. But acceptance involves staying in situation and understanding and accepting that other person will not change and finding a way to be all right with that. The woman in an abusive situation would decide that she is not going to leave and realizes that her husband may never change but decides to stay anyway. This may, for some, actually be their best option.
For those of us who love woman in this situation, we have same three choices to go through. We can leave it---this would most likely mean ending our relationship with woman because we canít stand to see her in an abusive situation. We can attempt to change it by trying to convince her to leave man. This is what many friends and family do and sometimes woman decides to leave you. She may decide she canít live with your disapproval, either stated outright or silently. Out of loyalty to her partner, she may decide itís not right to listen to your statements against him anymore. What she needs is your support, not judgments and coercion to get her to leave someone she may love. Or third choice, we can accept it. This means we come to realize that this woman has her own life decisions to make and that she will do best she can with choices that are available to her. You will be her friend and support her and her decisions, realizing that you canít change her or him, for that matter.
If you or someone you care about is involved in domestic violence, please come to www.therelationshipcenter.biz. There are safe ways there to discuss situation and some are f-r-e-e. Email Kim Olver at firstname.lastname@example.org, enter her chat room during scheduled chat times, which are posted on her events calendar or call her at 708-957-6047.
Kim Olver is a licensed professional counselor and a life/relationship coach. She helps people unleash their personal power by living from the inside out, focusing their time and energy on only those things they can control. She also helps people improve the quality of their relationships with the people in their lives. For further information about Kim visit her website at www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz or contact her at (708) 957-6047.