Because Peggy does not know how to define her own worth, she feels empty inside until she gets approval. Once she gets approval, she feels a moment of fullness, which rapidly disappears and then needs to be filled again with more approval. Others around her feel her pull for approval, and may also feel stressed in face of it. They may like what she does for them, but they may not feel loved by her giving to them to get their approval.

Sophia is also married with children. Sophia also grew up to believe that her worth was based on other’s approval. However, Sophia has done enough inner emotional and spiritual work to learn to define her own worth. Because she is no longer dependent upon others’ approval to define her worth, she is free to express herself in ways that are loving to herself and others. Rather than worrying about what anyone will think of her, Sophia joyfully goes about decorating, cooking and buying presents because it’s fun for her to do so. For Sophia, holidays are an opportunity to express herself and her love for others. Because she is defining and expressing her own worth, she feels full inside. Approval may be icing on cake, but it is not cake itself.

Because Sophia receives such joy from expressing herself and giving to others without needing anything in return to feel worthy, others feel loved by her giving. While others may be stressed if they are giving to get approval, Sophia herself remains peaceful and joyful.

We all have a choice each moment to decide who we want to be – a person who is trying to have control over getting love and approval, or a person who is giving love to ourselves and others. Who we decide to be determines how we feel. If our intent is to get love and approval, then we may think that others determine our feelings, but it is really our own intent that is responsible for how we end up feeling.

Why not start now, before holidays, noticing your intent? Why not open now to giving yourself – child within you – approval he or she needs to feel worthy? If you start to practice today being in intent to love yourself and others, perhaps by time holidays come around you can really have a good time!

Evolution, here, is not a matter of biology, but more a matter of personal fact. What are facts of my life, as opposed to what are facts of your life? At some level we share a commonality of facts. Those that underlie Christianity, for example, are shared facts. Those that underlie our essential humanness are also shared facts. Do these so called facts hold any truth or not? And on what can we base our collective experience and subsequent testimony? After sorting through an enormity of facts, what do we rely on for an interpretation? How do we know when any interpretation is correct?

You see, years ago, we had Mythology, and its teaching companion Parables, to guide us through transitional, volatile times. Myths and Parables were guideposts; signs along path that helped explain aspects of our human plight and imminent challenges. Myths and Parables were teaching tools, designed to advance us as a race, as a nation or as an individual, into and through next stage of our evolution. Suffice it to say that Myths and Parables were Sine Qua Non of Ancient Times, in terms of information processing and personal growth, because basically, no one knew how to read. Since very few people enjoyed that privilege there had to be a way to pass on important information. Myths and parables were accessible to everybody. Handed down through ages, they were passed on to generation after generation, cutting across cultural and ethnic boundaries, and historical periods. Myths, as guideposts and parables as models, have always been there for us and are still in evidence today. We just don’t pay attention to them like we used to.

(In part 2 of this series we will continue this discussion and see how it leads to and affects our current situation as Information Revolution unfolds.)