In case you think I am down on all reality TV, there are some shows that actually are not that bad.

For example, American Idol, biggest reality TV show of all. It was worth watching just to see Simon and Paula kiss and new, invigorated half-of-Randy agreeing with Simon on almost everything this year.

For example, Canadian Idol, which 3.5 Canadians are aware of.

For example, Australian Idol, except for Guy guy's hairdo, which IS that bad.

Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Loss Challenge is another reality show I like. He took real overweight people who wanted to change not just their bodies but their outlooks on life.

What did these two shows have in common? Both were competitions. Both involved trying to better oneself. Nobody had to vote each other off and they were all one team. Nobody was encouraged to hate. Nobody was encouraged to cheat. In fact, they supported each other emotionally. Imagine that on a desert island. Why, that would almost be real.

Dr. Phil and Idol machine make sure that everybody walks away a winner. Of course, that's no more real than packing men and women together in tight corners with little clothing and prodding them to cheat on their soon-to-be-exes back home. But it is more tasteful, and perhaps more "educational".

But what is most real about these shows is that their real dreams were fulfilled and their real lives have changed as a result.

I have another name for all these new shows, good and bad alike, a name that fits them better than "reality TV". I call them "game shows."

What? That name's been taken? Price Is Right? Truth Or Consequences? Wheel of Fortune?

Hmm. I suppose new reality TV shows are almost as new as they are real. If people want reality, I suppose they could just turn off their TV sets. If they want new, they might just have to improvise.

"It was recently revealed that underwater explorer Jacques Cousteau shot some of his 'ocean footage' in a bathtub. This is particularly shocking because... who knew there was a bathtub in France?" - Conan O'Brien