Saying It with Words

Today, there are so many different kinds of families—traditional, blended, divorced, etc.—that it’s no wonder brides are often concerned about how to word their invitations without breaching any rules of etiquette. The stationer you will likely be visiting soon will have more samples of wording than you will want to see. For now though, I’ll let you glance at a few of more commonly used forms. These all fall under category "traditional."

(Bride’s parents are hosting) Mr. And Mrs. David Hennesse Request honor of your presence At marriage of their daughter Miss Ellen Marie Hennesse To Mr. Mark Peter Bruster On Saturday, ninth of June Two thousand and five At three o’clock in afternoon St. Mary’s Church Duluth, Minnesota

(Both bride’s and groom’s parents are hosting) Mr. And Mrs. David Hennesse And Mr. And Mrs. Clark Bruster Request honor of your presence At marriage of their children Ellen Marie Hennesse And Mark Peter Bruster On Saturday, ninth of June Two thousand and five At three o’clock in afternoon St. Mary’s Church Duluth, Minnesota

(When bride and groom host wedding) Miss Ellen Marie Hennesse And Mr. Mark Peter Bruster Request honor of your presence At their marriage On Saturday, ninth of June Two thousand and five At three o’clock in afternoon St. Mary’s Church Duluth, Minnesota

The old rule was that word "honor" should always be spelled "honour." This rule is no longer firmly held. However, you should always spell everything out—names, date, time and location.

There are definite rules regarding use of initials. "Doctor" (medical only, otherwise professional title is not used) is written in full, unless name to follow is long. "Mr." is never written "Mister," but "Jr." may also be written as "junior," although first is preferred.

It is acceptable to use numbers when writing address of church or synagogue, but avoid doing so. Generally, address (including street name) of location where wedding will be held is omitted. You may want to include it if not doing so would be likely to cause your guest frustration—when, for example, you are getting married in a large city and guests would have to guess which of several churches with same name you mean.

If you do include address and you are using a formal style of wording, spell out numbers under 100. Never abbreviate words such as "Street," "Avenue," and "Road," and do not include zip code.

Saving Time and Money

If you are pressed for time, ask stationer if you can have envelopes early. This way, while you are waiting for your invitations to be printed you can address envelopes.

When it comes to deciding how many invitations to order, you should definitely order slightly more than you think you will need. Chances are you are going to need more than you thought. It’s a lot more expensive to place a second order than it is to order extras.

© Copyright 2005 Bachcroft.com. Permission to reprint this article, as is, is granted as long as proper attribution (author's biography) is given and all active hyperlinks remain intact.

Before walking toward pews, usher should ask which side of church she would like to be seated on, bride’s or groom’s. Generally, right side of church is reserved for guests of groom. Her relatives and friends are usually escorted to right.

In a Jewish ceremony, this seating arrangement is reversed. And if one side appears to be filling up and other side has noticeably few occupants, then this rule should be abandoned for sake of appearances.

Incidentally, in keeping with spirit of occasion, ushers should not escort guests to their seats in total silence, as if this were a solemn affair. This is a time for a few casual and friendly, yet dignified and quiet remarks.

Pews are filled from front to back, leaving first several reserved for family members and close friends of bride and groom. Just minutes before ceremony is scheduled to begin, two of ushers should escort groom’s mother and then bride’s mother to their seats. After ceremony, they escort these ladies down aisle.

It is groomsmen who should be available to assist bride’s mother with any last minute details. Just before bride makes her entrance, they should unroll aisle runner. Another important duty of these men of chivalry is to arrange for transportation of bridesmaids to wedding site.

After ceremony, as everyone heads off to reception, it is their responsibility to ensure that no one is left behind. And, because they are largely responsible for making sure that a good time is had by all, they are expected to introduce guests to each other.

Modern day armor

What groomsmen wear is largely determined by formality or informality of ceremony, and to a lesser extent by considerations such as location and time of day.

These days, most grooms, groomsmen and ushers rent their formalwear. The groom and his men should order their tuxes at least three months before wedding. If possible, they should select a local shop, just in case last minute alterations are needed.

The groom and his men usually wear same attire. To set himself apart, groom may select a different colored tie, vest, pocket square, or boutonniere.

Sometimes groom will present a memorable gift, such as cufflinks, studs or, if he can afford to splurge, monogrammed shirts, to be worn by these men of honor at wedding. Given all that they are expected to do, groom should indeed go out of his way to show his appreciation, even in advance, for a job well done.

© Copyright 2005 Bachcroft.com. Permission to reprint this article, as is, is granted as long as proper attribution (author's biography) is given and all active hyperlinks remain intact.