Written by Patience Pantperhog

Continued from page 1

-- "‘Eager Beaver’ is my middle name…so I’d love to sink my glistening white, tartar-fighting buckteeth into lots more work today."

-- "I'm Your #1 TEAM - The Easy Answer Man – at your service."

-- "Hey, I’m all pumped up, so where do we register for that trial balloon course?"

-- "My last performance evaluation said that I’d make a great scapegoat – do you need one in your department?"

-- "Byrepparttar way, is that “arm candy” job posted onrepparttar 118105 notice board inrepparttar 118106 executive dining room still available?"

-- "The latest corporate communications audit shows we've got nothing butrepparttar 118107 highest quality, 360 degree closed feedback loop rating inrepparttar 118108 industry ... so what's new atrepparttar 118109 virtual watercooler and whistleblower pit stop dude?"

-- "Okay, so Neptune's in Capricorn and Mercury's gone retrograde, but I still need one more defensible position why we didn't meet quota last month."

-- "Princess Poohbah, if I honor your request for an engraved nameplate on your powder-room door, then will you play 'Kickrepparttar 118110 Can' with me?"

-- "Let's see,repparttar 118111 most influential management book I've ever read ...hmmm...that would be Discoveringrepparttar 118112 World ofrepparttar 118113 Three-Toed Sloth by John Hoke...and a close second would be, Fish Who Answerrepparttar 118114 Telephone by Yury Petrovich Frolov."

Patience Pantperhog, an inveterate litterbug and whimsical wordwatcher at the "Wonder-Worker Weekly", provides an amusing analysis of ludicrous life as a libertine (in the Court of the Quipping Queen -- wwww.quippingqueen.blogspot.com).

The day my computer died

Written by Jesse S. Somer

Continued from page 1

It’s a real bummer when something goes wrong, but these occurrences are necessary in a space-time continuum that is in constant flux. If you are a spiritual person, you might say that there’s only one thing in life to have unwavering faith in: Magical existence itself. You might be asking yourself by now, ‘What is this guy talking about?’ I think I’m just rationalizingrepparttar death of my newfound ‘friend’. I’m coming torepparttar 118104 point where I understand my old fears were irrational and unfounded, as most fears generally are. However, I’m also wondering about these people out there who have more faith in computers than human beings. For instance, I know of a man who says that he would rather fly in an airplane under automatic pilot instead ofrepparttar 118105 real thing. Human pilots can get drunkrepparttar 118106 night before and be depressed and hung over right? Whereas computers are completely rational, unemotional and unable to partake in activities deemed by most as unsavory.

The sad fact is computers can break and die. Maybe we need to find a happy medium where inorganic and organic intelligence work in tandem, so that if one half ofrepparttar 118107 partnership fails,repparttar 118108 other half can always compensate. Let me tell you I’m quite sad right now, but hey ‘shit happens’. I just hope thatrepparttar 118109 ‘shit’ isn’t your plane landing inrepparttar 118110 ocean because of a computer that’s had too much vodkarepparttar 118111 night before.

Jesse S. Somer is the widow of a computer that only lived four short years in this sacred thing we call life.

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