WHO’S GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS? IS IT YOU . . . OR YOUR INNER BRAT?

Written by Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.


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You’ll know that your inner brat has taken over when you start getting angry atrepparttar slightest provocation, or when you complain about things not being fair. You’ll also recognize its presence when you eat, drink or smoke more than you you know is good for you.

For example, when your mother asks, “Why haven’t you called your grandmother?” your inner brat might snap back, “Why are you always picking on me?! Why don’t you ever ask my brother why he doesn’t call Grandma?” Or, when you’ve resolved to control your drinking overrepparttar 111280 holidays, you end up downing a quart of spiked egg nog, with your inner brat inrepparttar 111281 background rationalizing that it’s OK becauserepparttar 111282 alcohol is diluted.

If you want to stay calm and have more fun with your family this holiday season, keep your inner brat under control. Here are some tips:

1. Check your expectations: If you begin grumbling to yourself about various family members weeks beforerepparttar 111283 get-together, you’re giving your inner brat a head start. Byrepparttar 111284 timerepparttar 111285 event actually happens, you will be full of old resentments and anxieties. Onrepparttar 111286 other hand, if you tell yourself that you are voluntarily attending this event, and that it may not be perfect but at least it’s time-limited, you will be more relaxed.

2. Prior to visiting your family, practice some simple relaxation skills such as slow, deep breathing or pleasant visualization. If you find yourself getting tense atrepparttar 111287 event, take a short time-out to relax and get yourself centered again.

3. When family members act idiotic, mean or critical toward you, remind yourself that such behavior reveals more about them than about you. The very behavior that irks you is probably coming from their inner brats.

4. Mentally detach yourself from conflict. Imagine that this is a movie of your family and that you are watching it on a big screen. This will keep your inner brat out ofrepparttar 111288 conflict.

5. Use humorous exaggeration. For example, say to yourself, “This moment isrepparttar 111289 absolute worst thing that ever happened to anybody.” By notingrepparttar 111290 absurdity of your statement, you’ll see things in a more realistic perspective.

6. Don’t give into your inner brat’s demands for more food or alcohol. Just because it wants it doesn’t mean it MUST have it. Remember, you’re in charge, not your inner brat.

© 2003 Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.

Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in Camp Hill, PA. She is author of Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide to Transforming Self-defeating Behavior, (Beyond Words Publishing, 2001). Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.


Fun & Fruity Recipes

Written by Deborah Shelton


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Combine cream cheese and confectioners' sugar; mix well. Spread over cooled cookies. Decorate with assorted fruit. Yummy!

Strawberry Angels

1 angel food cake 6 large strawberries 1 carton whipped topping

Directions: First, cutrepparttar cake into serving-size pieces. Slicerepparttar 111279 strawberries and layer on top ofrepparttar 111280 cake. Then spoon whipped topping on top ofrepparttar 111281 strawberries. Serve and enjoy!

Deborah Shelton edits The Five Minute Parent email newsletter. For your free subscription, send a blank email to mailto:Five_Minute_Parent-subscribe@yahoogroups.com or visit http://www.fiveminuteparent.com


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