WHEN YOU SEE REDWritten by Rhoberta Shaler
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relationships to answer this question: What do I want from this exchange? If a potentially volatile volley of words, accusations, and threats are likely to erupt, leave. No, this is not "running away from a fight". This is just informed decision-making. There is one important difference, though: tell person that you are leaving and when you will return to discuss issue. This is difference between being responsible and being a "hit-and-run" offender. Take care of relationship. Do not abandon other person. Simply say, "I'm too angry now and I'm likely to say things I don't mean. I'll be back in three hours and let's discuss this then. If it is in work setting, acknowledge your desire to work out issue, and promise to get back to them within three hours to set a time to talk further. This is not easy, but it is effective!
Why three hours or more? Simple. It takes a full ninety minutes for blood to return to your centers of reason and logic and your heart beat to return to normal. It makes good sense to wait and it demonstrates that you care about yourself AND relationship.
Dr. Shaler is the creator of the Living RichlyT Programs. For further articles, free ezines, upcoming teleseminars and booking information, visit http://www.OptimizeLifeNow.com today!
HOW MUCH ARE YOU?Written by Rhoberta Shaler
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Choose three things that you would really like to give your best to. They might be your primary relationship, your children, your career, your health, or your spiritual life. Now, write six words to describe your ideal self in those areas. For example, in my life with my husband, I would use these words: trustworthy, respectful, loving, responsive, fun and available. These are my chosen 'positions'. Next step, set some measurable goals for this relationship. For instance: I spend at least one hour a day talking with my husband. I listen carefully to him and ask questions until I fully understand his position, needs, concerns. I find ways to surprise him that let him know how much I love him. I have stated both my position and my marketing plan. Then, follow through. Simple, not always easy, but always rewarding!
When you care enough to make a plan, you're way ahead of game. When you teach yourself to follow-through, you'll have a winning attitude. Make this a habit and you'll find out how much you are!
Dr. Shaler is the creator of the Living Richly™ Programs. For further articles, free ezines, upcoming teleseminars and booking information, visit www.OptimizeLifeNow.com today!