Eat good food that nourishes your body, eyes and soul. Eat leisurely and just eat. Don't think about anything except enjoying food, your surroundings and leisure. Then, relax. Sleep if you need to.

When your body and mind have rested, take whatever time you need to fully consider these three questions and write your answers your new journal:

A. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT, MOST VALUABLE AND MOST SIGNIFICANT TO ME IN LIFE?

These may be character traits, relationships, habits, aspirations, events and possessions. There are no right answers, only YOUR answers. Do not evaluate your list on basis of what others may think. Start with a clean page. The first change in your thinking will be to find only things that honestly reflect what YOU value. No 'shoulds, ought-tos, or musts'. Not what anyone has told you is right. Just what is important to you.

B. IF I BASED MY LIFE CHOICES SQUARELY ON MY ANSWERS ABOVE, HOW WOULD I SPEND MY TIME, MY ENERGY AND MY MONEY?

One good way of developing this answer is to create an ideal week for yourself. As you do that, beware of 'should' gremlins looking over your shoulder. It is your week in your life. Your responsibility is to have it reflect what you say you value. Notice what fits and what does not fit. You may have to prioritize. Stick with project until you have a week that is so appealing you can hardly wait to begin.

OK, let's stop for a reality check. Have you designed a week's vacation or a week that truly reflects what you want your life to be all about? Your optimal design will be for a week that you could repeat forever, one that you would feel very good about in every way.

C. WHAT ARE THE FIRST FIVE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO BEGIN MATCHING YOUR CURRENT LIFE WITH YOUR IDEAL LIFE?

Take this in small steps. In fact, take it in what I call TTDC's, Teeny, Tiny, DoAble Chunks. Choose five small things you can accomplish or change this week.

Whether you are changing your physical surroundings, your relationship, your attitude or your behavior, start small. Celebrate often. Progress is cumulative. Just keep going forward.

Stop regularly to review your progress, re-commit to your values, and choose next five things to do. Once this becomes a habit, you're on your way to your ideal life. You are on your way to being 'retired'!

BE IMMEDIATE

Let no grass grow under your feet. As soon as you have calmed down or thought better of your words, go to other person and acknowledge what's going on. Take responsibility for your part in interaction. Don't let this fester or spread.

Different people react differently to pain and stress. Some will internalize it and make themselves very uncomfortable, even unwell. Others will spread it around. This is virus.

As soon as you can--as soon as your blood pressure is back to normal, your vision improves and blood has returned to your centers of reason and logic--take responsibility for what you have done or said. CAUTION: At this point, there is a tendency to degenerate into sentences involving word 'You'. This is not time for that. Speak only about yourself and your feelings. This takes practice.

Why be immediate? Because pain swells things. You've noticed that. You need to put ice on situation right away. It's that simple.

BE POSITIVE

When folks are upset, there is a tendency to talk about what you don't want, won't put up with and cannot stand any longer. Sure, that releases your frustration, however, it does not move situation forward.

Talk about what you do want, what will help and what can smooth way for a better working relationship. Be positive. Assuring folks that you want things to work is far better than screaming about what isn't working!

You don't have to put on a 'Pollyanna' approach to be positive. It is a simple flip of mind-set. Switch from past to future. "Let's do it this way!" is much easier to hear than "I hate it when you _____!", isn't it? Quick rule of thumb: Before you open your mouth, run words you are about to say through your mind. Would you be able to hear it well? Would it help move situation to resolution? If answer is "no", you've got time to change your words. If answer is 'yes', then proceed with assurance that you are working to create best consequences.

Any young duck can cruise through pond knocking folks down. Smoothing ruffled feathers takes maturity, intelligence and willingness. Don't be a dumb duck. Learn to calm waters and only create ripples that get you where you want to go!