-- Bad Axe, Climax, Hell, Jugville, Kalamazoo, Podunk, Slapneck (Michigan)

-- Climax, Embarass, Nimrod, Nowthen, Savage, Sleepy Eye (Minnesota)

-- Bobo, Chunky, Dragon, Possumneck, Sanatorium, Soso, Yazoo (Mississippi)

-- Conception, Cooter, Enough, Frankenstein, Licking, Peculiar, Roach, Sleeper, Tightwad (Missouri)

-- Bitter Root, Elmo, Hungry Horse, Rocky Boy, Square Butt, Two-Dot, Yaak (Montana)

-- Colon, Fort Crook, Road, Wahoo, Weeping Water, Worms (Nebraska)

-- Bunkerville, Incline Village, Lovelock, Owyhee, Pahrump, Searchlight, Verdi-Mogul, Weed Heights, Winnemucca (Nevada)

-- Bungy, Contoocook, Hell Hollow, Lost Nation, Sandwich Landing (New Hampshire)

-- Bivalve, Brick, Ho-Ho Kus, Little Egg Harbor, Love Ladies, Succasuna (New Jersey)

-- Elephant Butte, Tingle, Truth or Consequences (New Mexico)

-- Cat Elbow Corner, Climax, Coxsackie, Hicksville, Horseheads, Peekskill, Neversink, Yaphank Yonkers (New York)

-- Climax, Gum Neck, Horneytown, Lizard Lick, Meat Camp, Tick Bite, Toast, Whynot (North Carolina)

-- Concrete, Hoople, Voltaire, Zap (North Dakota)

-- Blue Ball, Climax, Fly, Knockemstiff, Three Legs Town (Ohio)

-- Bowlegs, Frogville, Hooker, Okay, Pumpkin Center, Slapout, Slaughterville (Oklahoma)

-- Boring, Drain, Halfcom, Idiotville, Zig Zag (Oregon)

-- Balltown, Bird-in-Hand, Blue Ball, Climax, Drab, Experiment, Fear Not, Gobbler's Knob, Hempfield, Intercourse, Loyalsockville, Panic, Porkey, Scalp Level, Uno, Virginville (Pennsylvania)

-- Mooseup Valley, Quidnick, Quonochontaug, Woonsocket (Rhode Island)

-- Coward, Due West, Ninetimes, Sugar Tit (South Carolina)

-- Bath, Igloo, Lemmon, Peever, Red Shirt (South Dakota)

-- Bugscuffle, Bucksnort, Defeated, Difficult, Duck Town, Finger, Nameless, Only, Smartt, Sweet Lips, Static, Yum Yum (Tennessee)

-- Cut-n-Shoot, Dime Box, Ding Dong, Frognot, Gun Barrel City, Hoop and Holler, Leaky, Loco, Looneyville, Muleshoe, Notrees, Pointblank, Possum Kingdom, Run and Shoot, Tarzan, Trophy Club, Turkey, Twitty, Uncertain, (Texas)

-- Bald Knob, Hurricane, Lovelock, Orderville (Utah)

-- Bread Loaf, Mosquitoville, Notown, Satans Kingdom (Vermont)

-- Bumpass, Croaker, Frogtown, Goochland, Goosepimple Junction, Mutt, Nuttsville, Ordinary (Virginia)

-- Enumclaw, Humptulips, Klickitat, Kooskooskie, Tumtum, Tumwater (Washington)

-- Big Ugly, Crum, HooHoo, Looneyville, Lost City, Nitro, Odd, Paw, Pinch, War (West Virginia)

-- Embarrass, Footville, Imalone, Spread Eagle, Ubet, Wanderoos (Wisconsin)

-- Bill, Camel Hump, Meeteetse, Muddy Gap (Wyoming)

__________

And, if you want to find these places on a map, go to: http://geonames.usgs.gov/pls/gnis/web_query.gnis_web_query_form

For a complete list of placenames go to: http://www.census.gov/tiger/tms/gazetteer/places2k.txt

"Janice Land? No problem. I'll connect you." CLICK.

"No, wait. I wanted to speak to Janet Lam. Hello?"

My father can pinpoint exact amount of blood sugar he packs in his veins. Not very long ago, people could not care less how much sugar was in their blood, as long as they had plenty of it in their double-fudge sundaes.

Yes technology has come a long way, allowing us to send and received very specific information in great detail and in great volumes, allowing such thrilling 21st century innovations as spam (I know, I know, great spam innovators you admire most did their heroic deeds in 20th century, but you ain't seen nothing yet!)

Despite volume of information I receive in my inbox, there is one very disturbing element to all this extra free information, which brings me back to second thing that struck me about my fortune cookie message.

It was wrong.

I waited all day for that pink polka-dot octopus to approach me, and it never did. Just because modern technology can deliver huge volumes of laser-detailed information, does not make that information valuable or even accurate.

Which brings me back to revelation that a weather forecaster is now writing fortune cookies. Weather forecasts have become increasingly more precise. For instance, I am told that today it will hail in town just east of here and be sunny in town just west of here.

Once upon a time, forecast would be simply "Sun and hail expected to pass through region." Less accurate and less wrong. Just as useless, though.

Maybe we should hire CSTAR to make fortune cookies. Surely CSTAR would deliver fortunes that are not only precise but also accurate, right? As a bonus, pastry chefs won't have to scrub their hands before baking.

And I wouldn't have to wait for a pink polka-dot octopus all afternoon.