Use Your Emotional Intelligence in All Your Relationships

Written by Susan Dunn, Emotional Intelligence Coach

Continued from page 1

Also we have to cope with change and speed. Something needs to be done, and done immediately, likerepparttar kitten inrepparttar 126158 Lowe’s store, and what’s needed is two-sided accountability, that’s all.


On a recent cruise (being a coach, I speak on cruise ships), my sister and I stayed on board when it docked at Cozumel to enjoyrepparttar 126159 pool to ourselves. As we sat poolside, a swarm of bees came aboard. They descended upon one ofrepparttar 126160 loud speakers, and wrapped themselves around it in a dark black cloud. Something about vibrations, my sister said.

My sister lives in San Diego, nearrepparttar 126161 Mexican border, of course, and there are killer bees there. She also knew exactly what to do with them. “Get a vacuum cleaner,” she toldrepparttar 126162 staff and crew who were beginning to appear.

No one listened. They cordoned offrepparttar 126163 area with yellow tape. Others were called. Eventuallyrepparttar 126164 captain appeared.

Fast forward … 45 minutes later a steward was called to bring a vacuum cleaner andrepparttar 126165 bees were vacuumed up.


Are ship captain’s trained to deal with killer bees, or store managers trained to deal with bird infestations?

Think of this withrepparttar 126166 relationships in your life – both at work and at home. Do you treat your administrative assistant like she’s a few notches downrepparttar 126167 ladder from you? Do you treat your teenagers like employees? If so, what’s going to happen when you need their help on something, or they know about something you don’t, and you have to ask. If you set yourself up in this position, you’ll feel uncomfortable asking because you’ll “lose face.”

And if you hold yourself in this exalted position,repparttar 126168 person “beneath you” who knows how to do it, will hold silent, to preserve your ego, or to preserve their job, or to avoid making you “mad” and you will have lost.

Whichever way you look at it working partnerships and joint accountability are far more productive than hierarchical relationships.


One last example. When my son was 13 years old, we were riding inrepparttar 126169 car and I got stopped by a policeman. My son started talkingrepparttar 126170 minute I was pulled over and I turned around and told him to be quiet. I wanted to be able to think.

The policeman checked my license and then looked at my inspection sticker and said it was out-of-date. My son started to try to speak again, and I motioned him to be quiet.

The end ofrepparttar 126171 story … underrepparttar 126172 pressure ofrepparttar 126173 situation, it being February,repparttar 126174 policeman was readingrepparttar 126175 wrong date onrepparttar 126176 inspection sticker, and it actually WAS up-to-date. Finally when I “let” my son speak, he told us both this. He wasn’t afraid to make us both look like … well, likerepparttar 126177 two confused adult people we were.

Use your emotional intelligence and allow everyone around yourepparttar 126178 space to contribute. It’s a win-win situation.

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, . I offer coaching, distance learning courses, and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your continued personal and professional development. EQ is more important to your success, health and happiness than IQ, and it can be learned. Start today! For free ezine,

How to Get the Relationship You Want

Written by Susan Dunn, Personal and Professional Development Coach

Continued from page 1

Sorepparttar emotionally intelligent thing is to introduce what we’ll call “new material” slowly. Of course everyone puts their best foot forward inrepparttar 126157 early stages of a relationship, and that’s appropriate. But as you increaserepparttar 126158 intimacy and start getting to know one another more deeply, you will be talking aboutrepparttar 126159 battle scars,repparttar 126160 things that make you who you are. We all have them!

Remember that yours may sound much “bigger” torepparttar 126161 other person than they actually are. Don’t rush into this part ofrepparttar 126162 relationship, telling of all those times you missedrepparttar 126163 mark, or had things happen to you that alteredrepparttar 126164 course of your life. Begin by showing your wonderful, positive strengths andrepparttar 126165 qualities that have allowed you to be resilient throughrepparttar 126166 rough seas of life.

Think about someone showing you a house for sale. They wouldn’t start withrepparttar 126167 repaired foundation andrepparttar 126168 15 year old HVAC system. They would begin withrepparttar 126169 spectacular view,repparttar 126170 stunning master suite withrepparttar 126171 oversized Jacuzzi,repparttar 126172 top-of-the-line appliances inrepparttar 126173 kitchen, andrepparttar 126174 exceptional landscaping onrepparttar 126175 acre lot.

There will be plenty of time to get torepparttar 126176 foundation (along withrepparttar 126177 warranty papers) andrepparttar 126178 HVAC system’s age (which can easily be replaced, and you’ve reducedrepparttar 126179 price ofrepparttar 126180 house to accommodate). But why start with those things? It just isn’t emotionally intelligent.

If you’d like to get to know yourself better, and increase your EQ skills,repparttar 126181 first thing to do is take an EQ assessment, which you can do here: http:/ . Then work with an emotional intelligence coach. To find potentially compatible partners, try here: http:/ .

EQ is all about identifying your emotions, understanding them, managing them, and regulating them, and what greater gift could you give this potential life partner you are looking for?

And inrepparttar 126182 meantime, improving your EQ will benefit you in all areas of your life, and clearrepparttar 126183 air for new experiences in your life.

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, . I offer coaching, distance learning, and ebooks ( ) around emotional intelligence for your continued personal and professional development. EQ matters more to your relationships, health, happiness and success than IQ, and it can be learned. Looking for a compatible new partner? Try here: . for free ezine.

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