Self-respect is a very important aspect that I think too many parents downplay in raising their children. How is someone supposed to come away with any kind of self-respect if they've been raised to never ever disagree or question authority? My favorite is when I hear people say, "Don't say no to me, I'm your mother!" The fact that people are capable of breeding doesn't make them right! If you want your child to respect you and to speak to you with respect, then earn it. Children are very observant. Do you practice what you preach? Do you scream and yell at them and then bust them for doing same thing back to you? They mimic your behaviors because you represent what it is to be a grown up in society. Do you spank first and ask questions second? Then they will too. Do you want a child who grows up to be a follower or a leader? If you punish them every time they try to take lead, then they will either avoid leadership, or they will punish anyone who gets in their way.

Give your child right to say "No." Tell your two year old it's okay to say "No, I don't want Uncle Johnny to pick me up and tickle me right now." Then, make Uncle Johnny respect your toddler's personal space. Later, when child is in someone else's space, you can remind them of how it feels as you explain why they need to back off.

The key to this is to teach your child about presentation and about listening skills. It's okay to disagree with me, but you can't scream and yell and kick. It's okay to tell me no, but you also have to listen to my side of argument too. You then have to role model what it is you want from them. You have to listen to their reasons and then they have to listen to yours. Teach them negotiation skills. Teach them how to say no so that it's not offensive. Sure it's a lot easier to just deny them right to disagree, but it'll come back on you when they're teenagers. Almost everyone disagreed with me when I gave my older two kids permission to question authority and to openly argue their point. I just made sure they were polite and respectful while doing so. Their teachers and babysitters weren't always thrilled, but communications were always open and honest and understandings were always reached. My older two have a solid belief in setting personal boundaries and not allowing others to take advantage. And so does Buddha Napoleon.

Copyright 2004, Tomorrow's Edge, Skye Thomas

Spring or Garden Party: Paint flower pots and include a pack of flower seeds for children to grow at home.

Survivor Party: Send children on a scavenger hunt equipped with compasses and trail mixes that they can make before hunt. The compass will become a new favorite gadget, and trail mix is a lot healthier that candy treats.

Tea Party:

Let girls decorate straw hats with artificial flowers, which they can wear for party, and later take home. Complete party with candy necklaces.

Have fun!