Ever work in a company where prospects of advancement or expansion of responsibilities were nonexistent? Someplace where you knew that you weren’t going anywhere? Stay very long? That’s my point. Without an opportunity for growth, learning, expansion of responsibility, and increase in personal value, people leave. When people aren’t developed, turnover takes place.

Have you ever worked in a company where major changes were “sprung” on you like a surprise attack? Where work was assigned to you and after you completed it, you found out you had done wrong thing? What happens when people don’t communicate effectively? Poor communication leads to misunderstandings, conflict, de-motivation, and stress. What do misunderstanding, conflict, de-motivation and stress lead to? You got it – turnover.

And then comes most insidious issue of them all - treating people as objects rather than people. The truth is that from time to time we all fall into this trap to one degree or another. I’m talking about how we regard people. Again, use your own experience as your best example. Have you ever had someone say something kind or positive to you, but you sensed that they were being “phony”? They used right words, but you could tell their words were insincere? Did you believe words or your sense of person? No questions about it – we believe our sense of things and people. When we are faced with someone who says one thing but means another, does our respect for that person increase, decrease or stay same? Clearly it decreases. Not only do we rely on our sense of person – our intuition – but we form opinions about them based on our insights. Have you ever worked for someone who you lost respect for? Did you stay at that job very long? When people treat other people as objects, turnover occurs.

Purpose, integrity, developing people, effective communications, and regarding people as people are all leadership issues. Exceptional leadership inspires best effort in others, and when people give their best effort, result is a high performance organization.

When you and your organization have a clearly defined Purpose, you attract and retain talent you need. When you and your organization have integrity, you build trust and loyalty. When you and your organization are committed to developing people, people become best they can be. When you and your organization communicate effectively, conflict and tension diminish and cooperation increases. When you and your organization work to treat people as people, they appreciate it and reciprocate.

Turnover isn’t a problem - it’s a symptom caused by leadership problems. Fortunately, problems can be solved, and you have power to make that difference. Strive to become best leader you can be.

13. Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins. I have to learn to make mistakes without feeling that I am no good.

14. Don't nag. When you do, I shall have to protect myself by appearing deaf.

15. Don't demand explanations for my wrong behavior. I really don't know why I did it.

16. Don't tax my honesty too much. I am easily frightened into telling lies.

17. Don't forget that I love and use experimenting. I learn from it; so put up with it.

18. Don't take too much notice of my small ailments. I may learn to enjoy poor health when it gets me much attention.

19. Don't protect me from consequences. I need your guidance to learn from my experiences.

20. Don't put me off when I ask honest questions. When you continue to do so, you'll find that I'll stop asking and start seeking my information elsewhere.

21. Don't answer my "silly" or meaningless questions. I just want you to keep busy with me.

22. Don't ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm toward you.

23. Don't ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too much to live up to.

24. Don't worry about little amount of time we spend together. It is HOW we spend it that counts.

25. Don't let my fears arouse your anxiety; then I shall be afraid. Show me courage instead.

26. Don't forget that I can't thrive without lots of understanding and encouragement. But I don't need to tell you that, do I?

Treat me with respect you treat your friends, then I'll be your respectful friend, too. I learn more from a model than from a critic.

Remember: When we maximize our potential, everyone wins. When we don't, we all lose.

* Adapted from "Memorandum from Your Child", author anonymous.

© Etienne A. Gibbs, MSW