6.Be nurturing with your kids

Hug and kiss your kids, and let them hear plenty of “I love you’s.” And also don’t forget to wrestle with them. Both boys and girls benefit from wrestling with their dads. Kids need to see your “soft” side, so show it to them frequently.

7.“Really” listen to your kids

Put down newspaper and look your kids in eye when they talk to you. Be aware of your own tendency to “filter” what your kids say. Reflect back what you heard from them. If you want them to listen to you, you’ve got to show them way.

8.Examine your relationship with your own father

A poor relationship with your own father will affect your ability to be an effective father. Are there things you want to say to your father? Ultimately, forgiving your father will go a long way towards allowing you to father to best of your ability.

9.Take care of yourself

It’s difficult to be kind and nurturing to your family if you’re not kind to yourself. Find ways to take time to relax, exercise, and keep your stress levels lower. And use friends and family to support you—don’t become an “island” in your family. Your family will appreciate it.

10.Have a plan for your anger

Men can have a difficult time with overwhelming emotional intensity that families can experience. The result is often anger, which breeds anger in your kids and creates a vicious cycle. Make a plan with a specific relaxation technique that helps to defuse your anger. Remember that one bad episode can impact your kids for a long time.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches men to be better fathers and husbands. He is the author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers” http://www.markbrandenburg.com/father.htm. Sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, “Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com

This Black-Tie-Affair mindset causes many couples to strive to keep up with Joneses to point of being maxed out to hilt in financial demise from debt. Money issues are cited as one of biggest reasons for breakdown in family leading to divorce.

Are you struggling with fantasy?

Are you confused with all hoopla?

Is this life reality?

Is this relational reality?

Is it reality?

If it is, I must be missing something. I must have made a wrong turn in road somewhere. Most of families I know must have made wrong turn with me.

Although my wife and I love each other very much, much of our relationship life is spent, well, INFORMALLY NORMAL.

A day in life for most couples is spent:

* Punching old inevitable time clock.

* Doing dishes and laundry.

* Cooking.

* Paying bills.

* Fighting colds, headaches and fatigue.

* Changing diapers.

* Bathing kids and getting them ready for bed.

* Getting up next day and doing it all over again.

Most of world struggles with getting up, getting old, getting fat, getting sick or simply getting by.

So, do yourself a favor. Stop buying in to all hoopla and falsehood.

If you get caught in this web of deceit, you just may miss out on what really matters - faith, family, character and integrity.

The last time I checked, love wasn't defined by word MONEY.

For words that better define love you may want to consider: commitment, sacrifice, support, unselfishness, home building, encouragement, forgiveness, planning and working together.

Maybe a bit informal and normal...maybe not as flashy as dollar signs...but ironically, a lot richer!

(C)Copyright 2004 advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com by Stanley J. Leffew ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!